Oct 13, 2017

Hippie or not to be?

Welcome friend!

I have been getting quite a lot of questions form you guys about my recent transformation. So here is what I thought. I'll answer to the most frequently asked ones here, all at once.

If you're new here, let me explain a bit the reason for this post. I used to be a real mash up of metal, emo, punk, and goth styles for many many years. I started as an emo when I was about 12-13 years old. Then my looks kept getting gradually darker and more radical.  And now the past year I've been totally different. Which brings me to the first, most frequently asked, question.

Are you a hippie?

This is quite a big question since the word hippie has been changed over time. TO many people the word hippie means something totally different than what I consider as being a hippie. When you think of someone who is a hippie, some of you thinks of the most classical 1960's flower patterned, psychedelic, rebellious people promoting peace and love. To someone else the word hippie could mean something simple. Like a person who cares about our mother earth, and has nothing to do with the looks.

If you consider someone who...

  • believes in values such as peace, love, and happiness
  • promotes kindness, care and respect as a human to another
  • is down to earth and takes people as people
  • cares for our earth and thinks about being ecological.
  • loves animals and respects our nature.
... as a hippie. Then yes, yes I am.

Are you a vegan?

This I have a clear answer to. No, I am not. I personally do not think that humans should give up meat. It has been in our diet since forever. I still am a really picky eater, unfortunately. I do try to learn new things all the time.  I'm not saying things are okay the way they are. It is true that animals live in horrible conditions. and that I do not accept. Also I Am trying to learn to get dairy out of my diet. We don't need milk from any other than our mother. It would be healthier for me, cause my stomach is very sensitive to dairy products, and I'm lactose-intolerant.

How do you feel about fur-farming?

Fur farming is something I do not accept. We have all the possibilities to make great faux-fur. The conditions that fur-bearing animals are in, are horrifying. Leather would be okay if it would be farmed from a cow that has been taken for food.

 How about animal testing?

I do not support animal testing in any way. We have various of other ways to test products. We are intelligent enough to understand it is wrong. We should be intelligent enough to stop it. I don't personally find comfortable as a makeup lover to buy any cosmetic-products that are tested on animals. There are so many options out there that are cruelty-free.

Why did you get dreadlocks? Are they real?

Personally I have liked dreadlocks for a long time. Since I was a child I have been wanting to dread my hair. I did have dreadlocks once before, but I opened them after a week of keeping, because I did not know how to take care of them. These current ones happened kind of as an accident. I wanted to try them for a day and fell in love. I loved them so much I wanted to keep them for a week. I just did not want to let them go and made a decision to make them perfect. Half of the dread is my real hair, the other half is wool/felt. I feel like I am finally myself in these babies ❤ 

I wanted to also tell you that, I do know this hairstyle originally belongs to Rastafarians. I know some people are not comfortable with someone not from their culture having their original symbol. I have educated myself about a bit of the culture and I decided not to call my hairstyle "Rasta" which in finnish language would be common word for this hairstyle.

How did you make your dreadlocks?

It was kind of a long process as it usually is. I'll make it into its own post since there was so many steps. :) Stay tuned for that one :3

Thank you for reading. Hope this cleared some thoughts you might of had. Love yall and see ya again soon!

-Rebella Darkstar

Sep 10, 2017

Behind the scenes of My Entire Summer

My summer seemed awesome to you right?

It was the most awesome and exciting summer of my life. I value everyday the same as these experiences, that I wanted to share with you. Behind the scenes, there was still me. The girl who is still afraid of people, who is very unsure of herself. The girl who is still on her path to womanhood. By my age I would be concidered as a woman by now, but inside my mind I'm still vunerable as a child. The world is still new to me. 

Most of my summer apart from everything I already told you, was very lonely. This summer was very emotionally hard for me. At times. I was the loneliest I've ever been.  I did not have many friends this summer. I had all kinds of plans, how I am going to get new friends and be social butterfly. My plan did not go as planned. I got even more anxious as usual in a new and not so new social encounters. I tried my absolute best, but things don't always work out as planned. 

I cried a lot. This was not an easy period in my life at all. Ive been running to see doctors and bouncing back and forth between my  two homes. The one with my parents and the one with my fiance. I actually was a complete mess from time to time and even I was confused of what in the world is going on. I think my family has not much idea how miserable, behind the scenes, I actually am. This is also not the time to talk about it. I have never been brave enough to confront my parents and tell them things straight. This summer was even my first time trying. 

Even things being like this, I won't give up yet. No one said that this journey is going to be easy. Sometimes there is progress, sometimes a set back. Things change, wether I like it or not. I just need to learn to change my life in a way these changes demand. My life is not all bad. I have a loving man, I have a home. I have some people I can trust. The reason why I decided to tell you the darkness behind all of this sunshine, is because the internet is already full of glorious stories of peoples lives without telling the actual truth behind them. I think that you my dear readers deserve the whole truth. The good and bad. Because life is both,  ups and downs.

Days ar getting shorter. Autumn start to arrive. Its the time when people go back to schools and workplaces. To me personally, this is the time of healing, possibly getting new hobbies, or going back to the old ones. I don't know how all is gonna turn out yet. Now we just work towards the best possible out come, and see.

Thanks for sharing my summer with me, now lets head over to the next chapter. I'll try to keep you updated. Love yall!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Written on iPad 

Sep 9, 2017

My Entire Summer|| pt.5|| Tallinn Estonia

This is the last part of My Entire Summer!

My sister got 2 tickets for " Day in Tallinn"- cruise by Eckeröline. It had been about 4 years since the last time I was in any cruise, so ofc I agreed to go with her. My sister knows all my problems with people and she can protect me fom anything. This was also my first time abroad. I had never been outside Finland. I had heard all kinds of crazy things from this city. But it was nothing like I've been told.

The morning:
This morning was way easier that I thought. Wake up was at 5:45 am since I needed to be at the docks about 07:30 am.  I woke up allright and was right on time there to meet my sister Suvi and My brother Jani. We had planned that I borrow my car to my brother so he could give my sister a ride there and he would pick us up when we were back from Tallinn. He spent the day in Helsinki.

We went to check up, and got on the cruise ship. First checking the store ofc, then we went up on the deck and got some coffee. I was really really exited and a bit worried. I couldn't use internet abroad and My budget was 100 euros. I was not sure if it was enough or not.

Finally we were there! Straight away I knew I was far from home. It was so different but also very much like Finland. Well, that could be expected since its not that far away from us. For your information, I can't understan a word from their language. So every sign did not help me in anyway. There was biketaxis, which I've never seen before.

First we wanted to see the Viru keskus. Its a gigantic shopping centre right next us. I had a blast, giggling to every "summer sale" sign I saw. Because in their language summer is Suvi. Which is my sisters name. I couldn't stop giggling. I must of looked so clearly like a tourist. We spent a long time trying to find a store in the shopping centre, which clearly wasnt there. I went to a NYX store and bought myself a lipstick. Wow, like I couldn't do that back at home. What can I say, I'm a makeup addict. I had to see if they have more things inside there than we do here. Yes, they did. But nothing I could afford. So I bought a lipstick I had been drooling for a long time. My sister had to go to the cashier, because I was way too shy. There was a boy with so much better makeup than me. It was like makeup goals right there.

When we got out of the makeup section, we got lost for a little while. Like I said the mall is gigantic and we came out of a door that was nowhere near the door we went in. Luckily we found out where we where.

By now, we wanted some food. Trusty old Hesburger was the perfect place to go. We have the same restaurants all over finland. I know what I like and Its way cheaper than here. Except. I had to order in english. I HAD TO ORDER! I can't even do that in finnish. I don't know why I didnt try finnish, but when the cashier started to speak to us in english, i just kept with it. My sister couldnt order cause she does not know english very well. We got what we ordered, pretty fast, there was not much people and the quality didn't differ that much. Fries were better than here but burger had something off about it, in my opinion. It still was good and I was happy to stuff my belly.

My stomach is very sensitive. So when we where walking out of there I got one of these.. you know "uh oh, i gotta hurry"-moments. It was agony trying to find a nearest toilet. Then we saw one. At the bus station. I regret going there. It was horrible. Smelly, small, not that hygienic with blue lighting. Ofc, the lock was not working either. Thanks to my sister for looking at the door.

After this I'm not sure where we tried to go. Somehow we ended up kind of far away from where we just were. I was getting tired from the walking and It was ridiculously hot (to me atleast) I was not feeling too good, and got a bit cranky cause of this. Then my sister finally decided to look at the map and we were back on our right way. My sister and I found out that one of our cousings was in Tallinn aswell. She had been there 2 days before us and she was gonna continue to travel to latvia.

We agreed to meet eachother at Super-Alko. We were anyway headed there to buy some cheap drinks to take home. Also some cigarettes cause we both have the habit. I don't recommend. My sister bought 3 cases of drinks. Also both of us bought some liquer bottles. I bought a sour apple and Aviva blue sky just because the drink is so pretty. Blue drink with pearl inside.

My main goal why I went to Tallin was to see the old city. But now my sister said we have too much to carry with us, and we don't have the time. I just sat there and cried. Silently weeped. I told my sister thats why I wanted to go there and that I was really upset because we were supposed to go there first. It felt horrible to think that I wasn't able to see it. Then my sister said that we should make it if she can carry all the things. There was couple of hours left before our cruise home. We had time and strength to just sratch it, but I cheered up because its better than nothing. My sister promised me that sometime we will go there and really take some pretty pictures.

I took some pictures from the bit I saw, and I found it stunning. My father also said that their food is so good, you'll instantly love it. I wasn't able to eat there cause of the time but I will try it next time.

Now we were heading back, and we were exhausted. We got some coffee, smoked a lot and sat on the ground. When we got back to the ship, we took our stuff to a locker and headed up to make the rest of the shopping. I bought these adorable zodiac liquer bottles to me and my darling. As a decoration item ofc. Some candies and chocolate for the family and then we were done.

We were still feeling really hot, and the weather was beautiful so perfect way to spend the rest of the way home on the deck. Sat on the edge watching at the sea, having some snacks.. Then a seagull flies hereright on a pole that was right above my head. TGbe seagull was huge and I was sure I'm getting pooped on. They seagull left and we decided to walk some too and see the rear end of the ship. I have to say I had a few Marilyn Monroe moments cause it was so windy there. We could barely walk back where we came from, It was freezing and even our coffees flew out of our cups.

Back at sweet finland. We walked straight to my brother and headed hhome. We did't find our way out of Helsinki at first, had a tiny oopsie when we were driving on wrong lane, to a wrong direction. Thank god my brother fixed the situation fast and we had a huge laugh at some van that did the same thing after us. My brother took me home with m boyfriend and then took my sister home. I was happy to finally be home and heading to sleep.

My thoughts on Tallinn in a nutshell:

  • Beautiful summer city
  • Cheap
  • Great for shopping
  • Old city is really worth a proper look 
  • Everywhere smelled a bit funny
  • Still can't undestand the language
  • Cruise shit was allright
  • Will go again

Special thanks to my siblings!

This was My Entire summer. Lots of adventures and experiences, fun company and loads of fun. Now the summer is starting to end and autumn creeps closer. Time to get back to do some work with myself and get out the relaxing candles. Life doesnt stop here, neither does adventures. This was just one chapter inthe book of life and I'm ready to see the next one.

Thank you for reading, Love you!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar