Aug 31, 2011

Long time, no see.

Once again has gone so much time.
But I have a reason for that.
I have had really bad time and my depression is coming back
really bad...
Some of my friends have left me and some of them are getting annoid cause of my depression and panic-disorder.
Especially cause I am scared of new social-situations.
I'm getting really sad, cause everyone has someone..
I mean GF/BF's..It hurts.. So many say that I will never get anyone... I don't want to believe them.. I want to think they are wrong..
But I have noticed it by myself..
Really many avoid me or an eye-contact with me.. Am I really so Fu*king bad?!..
Today I noticed one girl.. She is really different than others and she is bit like me..
I have heard that:
She likes poetry, like I do.
She is depressed, like I am.
She "likes" Death, like i do.
She is dark, like I am.
She wears black all time, like I do.
That is the reason why she makes me think of her.
But.. In a friend kind of way.. You know..?
I don't know what should I think..
What should I feel?..
What should I do?...
Here is questions to all of you, my dear readers.
If ├Żou know, please tell.
 At the end. Here is one poem to you:

When fall falls,
colors shine.
That is the reason,
 why I am shy.
He looks the rain and starts crying.
The Nature is never lying.

Aug 9, 2011

I love Skateboarding!

I'm sorry that I haven't written here in a long time.
It is just cause I bought a few days ago, the BEST skateboard ever! <3
And now it is just beautiful cause it is slightly broken. (I use it a lot)
I named it T-Rain: .
Cause there is three meanings:
1. It started raining at the first time I tried it (Rain)
2. Our Skateboardingplace a next to a Traintrack (Train)
3. Actively practicing and trainig (Train)
Yepyep .. I have since fallen only 2 times :3 At the first time I only scratched the elbow, but the second time scratched it again, and it was difficult to breathe. :3 It's pretty fun. Senni call them as "battle-scars":3
And the first time  I falled, Senni was there in a second just telling me, her motto. "It's just a scratch." : 3
Well, you must fall in skateboarding. :3