Sep 26, 2011

Hello world.
I'm really hopeful with something.
I really wish this one thing to happen.
I can't make it myself, it depends on someone other than me.
Some one who I love.
He just broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't go and he to be my boyfriend.
I think it is not right thing to do.
I'll let him decide.
I'll give him time and space.
Breaking up is never easy even some people think it is.
It isn't.
I have been in a whole other world for sometime.
I have lived in my own head.
I like it that way.
Still I don't close the real world from me.
I can't be myself, if I can't live like this for sometime.
I need to know what I want.

Weekend was the best.
I was with my friend.
We had a sleepover party.
We talked about boys, and of course about our crushes. ;)
We did so many great things, I felt so good for a long time.
Afterwards I really miss that time we spent..
I was happy..
But not anymore... I got many different difficult situations...
Not it is a war in my head. 
That's all I need to say for now. 
And of course...
Cheer up Make, you are Cool!  

Sep 5, 2011

Angst again.

I cant help this stupid feeling that I am alone..
I feel so lonely..
I can't stop thinking about him.
I don't even know his name.
I see him almost everyday.
My face turns red everytime I see him.
It makes me so uncomfortable.
I like him sooooooooooo much!
He wears so cool clothes, he's hair is supercute.
And I love his chains.
He is just super cute.
I want him.

Sep 4, 2011


Today is the day what I hate...
Cleaning day..
I need to clean the whole house.
It is a really big mess...
I am going to be really tired after this.
-.-  But I have no choice.
If I don't do it, I cant go anywhere,cause my parents take my busscard.
And I want to go to my guitarlessons.
So... I am annoid..
If I have anytime left I will blog ya later...

Sep 2, 2011

Life, truth, love secure. I lost them all.

Do you know  how it feels when you have nothing left?
Family puts you under pressure.
Friends turn their back to you.
You can't even eat caus it makes you feel sick and you want to throwup...
Well, I do...
I'm really losing my will to live..
I guess I am not going to die either.
I just don't have almost any interest to do anything.
But I will try I'm not so weak.
I'm going to the Lataamo today. :)
I really love that place.
It makes me worth of something.
Ivan makes mefeel like I'm worth of something too.
I'm so glad that I made him happy.
Cause he is sooooooo importan to me and others.
Love you IVAN!! :)
He makes me happy.
everytime I talk to him, I feel so much better.
So here is a song for you which tells you how I feel.
You can wake me up when september ends <3

Sep 1, 2011

Well well, oh wishing well...

I am getting really annoid with this situation.
It kills me, really kills me...
I can't stand if this goes like this...
Even my sister has a man now..
iIam sorry for this wining, but it really fu*king annoys me.
Still more and more of my friends are avoiding me and leaving me alone.
Why do they hate me so much?!
Some one tell me, please?
Even my real best friend leaves me alone,when she is with her another friend. 
It really hurts me and I don't even know why does her friend hate me so much. 
I have done nothing wrong to her.
So why does she act like so.
I really miss some of my another friends. 
One of the friends who I miss the most is Ivan.
I have not talked to him in days so I am really missing him.
He means really much to me and I could even say that i love him!
Cheer up Ivan! I love you!
And I really need you!
For you Ivan:
We all get hurt really bad sometimes.
And we hear really much lies.
Sometimes the truth makes us sad.
Somethings can even make us mad.
Don't give up, then I wont either.
I know that you are fighter.
I wish I will find (or he finds me)
The one true love of my life! <3