Apr 24, 2012

I think I'm a bit twisted

I was thinking today.. a lot..
 this is what I wrote in my secret (not so secret anymore) diary.

I could jump in train and just travel in Finland and then around the world.
Of course I would miss Finland, but I don't let it bother me.
Unknown gives me hope for future.
Human makes everything too easy, our instincts are fading and dissapearing
average human cannot survive in the wild nature.
Well, I can't.
I have been living in this asphalt jungle for all my life.
Even in here is the natures laws.
Eat or be eaten. If u are not the first u wont bother to even try.
I think I am maybe too generalising, or maybe not.
Lack of education touches the bottom of my heart 
People are scared of criticism
Do any people have any resourses to critisize at all?
Too big questions for this little girl.
Is there a spiritual age?
Can we born again?
Why there is no proof?
Everyone has got their own opinion.
Everyone has been taught how to think. 
Colors or black?
Rainbow or a blackhole?
Do I think black and white?
Human nature and human rights.
Life is unaittable  flame.
Alone has everyone to be and the lock never gives up. 'sick.
Ball of dust beneath the black sun in a summerday.
Not be able to stop.
Can't be blind for childs tears
Balance is sensitive source of truth
unaittability is the joy of life
Lyrics are the suffering of pleassure
In a way to home transforming forever.
Garden desires the healing light of the soul, darkness shall turn to ashes
Pressing a button the book of memories damps with blood and waits for an angel
an angel which in its power does no one believe in.
happiness in chains can't fly free underneath the monarchy.
Anarchy makes room for peace, clears the hopeless.
Gas around your childhood says happy rest life.
Do u preciate life like thousands of wins or do u live just to win?
Life is time and death is a begining. 
in the end thank u has its place.
Dont give up, with blue eyes the riddle forgets the meaning.


Apr 22, 2012

So today :D

Soo wazz upp?
I think my feeling is good night and good mornin.
I dont want to sleep but at the same time it is the only thing I want to do :O
How it is even possible? :D Well, I have proof that it is.
I have had Nalle in here for the weekend and two friends too.
We have had our arguments but everything seems pretty much okay..
I miss Seth..
I saw him just two minutes tday..
God, Kill the missing plz?
Today has been really hot and sunny day, summer is coming.
Or I actually should say spring cuz we haven't had much spring even yet.
Loserrrr!! xD I feel like THIS LOSER finally wins! xD
I really don't have anything to write in here xD

Apr 20, 2012


Wazz up blog-dogs?! ;3
Britney and other dance music plays on the background and I cleaned my room.. AGAIN!
Getting my theraphy dog in here agaiin <3333
I <3 Nalle <3<3<3<3
Again raping some emotions :D
I just feel happy for now, but I've got no idea how long it lasts cuz my moods fly between heaven and hell.
I hope I'm gonna be happy long long long long timeee :D
"Please don't stop the music..."
Ah this is life. Im actually happy now :3
WOWWOWWOWWOWWOW! >3< *Kisseeess*
And Btw: I love u SETH <3

Apr 17, 2012

Hmmm.. Fair play and Latest news

I keep gettin myself more tired and tired all the time.
First I make myself go to school and try my best.
Then straight there I go and try to earn money to make my dream come true.
Same time emotionally everything feels like hell.
I dont even remember anything about my school days.. They exhauste me,
but still I cant remember anything.
Strange huh?
Anyways I have been singin in the Railway-station and my friend plays the guitar..
I owe her so much and.. Sometimes I just want to run away again.
Home is a great place but I want to see other countries.
Mom says "You have time for that later"
But we all got just one life j´so we should live it full...
Ahhh. I dunno..
And again Im sooooo crushed in one guy..
Punk boi
 I wish the punk boi would like to bw with me :D
But now. Good night from working my ass off :D
- JanzQ

Apr 3, 2012

Long time, no posts. Got any reason?

Make over for my room.
hmm. I just needed to make my room look more like it is mine. cause  my older bro's stuff are still in here.. I just painted a new cd holder in here and putted some posterson the wall. Now i should just clean this HUGE MESS.

Tired as always. not an excuse.  
Well. All the time im just tired and I can't concentrate. That is why my school goes really bad. I had almost every grade they are D or even F.. AH NOT GOOD! I just can't help it I have totally lost it. I hope im not going to be in summer school of worse held back for a year.. oh my gosh.. that would be just horiible for me. The bullying has always been bad. What could happen if i have to be hold back for a year. the i would be the freak and the stupid one... oh.. I dont want that to happen.. but I can't help that my depression takes my energy. Just normal living takes all my juice.

My music taste keeps gettin bigger.
First it was all about HIM. Now I do even listen Lady GaGa. She is an personal artist and I give respect to her. "I'm on a right track baby I was born this way.."<3 Yea. It gives me strainght. cause i'm me and never anything else. My depression kicks me in the head again. It just knows how to hurt me the most. of course it is part of me now. I just hope it will cure someday. I don't want to sound negative. I'm not negative.
As u can see I'm forgettin the theme sop I sould write someother time and go to sleep now. Byebye sweeties! <3