Jun 26, 2012

I need to come out of my shell now..

Something hit me. 
Something hit me deep.

I'm thankful for everyone who have bullied me over the years,
Thank you!
I'm better person cause of you.
I know what hurts and how it hurts.
In this life there is lots of moments.
Bad and not so bad.
Good moments are rare.
I have found friends who want to be there beside me.
If u ever had not bullied me, I would not had to do so pathetic things I didt
to find friends.
And Now I have best friends in the world!
They have saved my life
I have tried suicide many times cause of loneliness..
No longer. Friends never leave me.
They're true friends.
Even tho, Life likes to be cruel.
an take it's toll.
Just be cruel back and don't give a fuck.
I honestly know what I'm talking about.
And I know this what I say is not easy at all
 I know my situation is not the worst or even near.
But still I can tell you some of my experienses and tell you, YOU CAN go over them.

I have been bullied in school every day for 8 years now.

I have been: spitted on, ripped by clothes, ripped by hair,
pushed against the walls and lockers,
 name calling (fat, ugly, bitch, whore, slut, emo, angstkid, fat-emo)
read my personal diary,
kicked and hit me, they have called me a demon who curses them all,
they have avoided me as much as they can.
I had to starv myself cuz of them.
I was so scared to go on classes I got very low grades.
but still I am here.
They did not break me down.
I look how I want to and I live my life. Soon enough. I can get rid of them.
This is me! I have not been listened to how I should look like!

And start to make my dreams come true.

In home life has not been so good at times either.
 everything but it is just normal. ;3 remember it.
OMG! Is she EMO?! No I'm not. And even If I was I'd be proud.

 You have seen me! Some of you think I am beautiful, some don't
You have to realize u can please everyone.
You only have to please yourself!
I'm not just talking in here. It's true. You will notice.
Teen age is terrible yet wonderful time.
Take every possibility and open your wings. They will get u far!
I had to tell everyone who has ever doubted theirselves.
DON'T! Just live and show middle finger to anyone who you don't care, unless they truly care about you.
Don't ever say goodbye to a friend who cares about you.
Just say good bye to them. who don't deserve you.
BE YOUR OWN LIFE'S PRINCE(SS) Just like I am! <3
Blog ya later! <3 I love you guys!                                                                          

Jun 25, 2012

Sky is crying.

It's raining. and I'm not sure is this second or third day in a row.
It makes me feel so wierd. I have been worshipping nature and all astrology and everything.
And now when the sky cries. its different than just rain
<-"This song makes me think of you"

Well, for now on, I think about you when I listen this.
When I see the rain and hear this...
I can't stop tears coming to my eyes.
I think all good moments in my life and how you always tried to make me laugh or smile.


Jun 23, 2012


So, It's mid summer and everyones having party and stuff.
We had somekind yesterday. Some music and sweets. Karaoke and stuff.
Yeah, the normal. But NO ALCOHOL! nuh-uh.
We don't need it to have fun.

My heart got a hit
Cupid's Arrow is from his wine I guess
It sank so deep in
Just like to stay there forever
I shake cause of the attack
Even if it hurts, I don't weep

I was living in my world
I thought that that the peace would not shake
but just wait
In my dreams you come, you are mine, you are in my dreams
Day and night only I miss you

My heart is in your hand
I turn so weak when I fall in love
My heart is yours forever
I hope that you share yours with me
My soul is like in a fog
searching for thee, and I'm restless

I want to fall on your arms
Your smile has caused it
I do not stand to wait for your touch
My knees fail under me
You can have me completely
I make my journey to your arms

Summer.. its fuck*ng cold in here.
Yea,.. I Love Finland... 
So what are you up to do guys?
Put some comments about your summerplans.
I'd like to know. :3

Blog ya later, alligator!         

Jun 13, 2012

Wish upon a star and read wise words

Wise as a serpent, innocent as a dove
say it out loud, as innocent as a dove,
the last tear, never longer..
Young alcoholics, turn to old alcoholics,
Easier to be wrong, than searching for the right,
Easier to break, than to build
Easier to hurt, than to love
Not believing, than to believe
Go where its easiest to go

And that is why we're here


Where is the caring, there is love
Where is the honesty, there is trust
Where is good to be, there is happiness
Where are the dreams, there is hope
Where are you, There is me

<--You and me always together <3

Everyone here chooses their own way, others dont need to know the reason. You do not have to ask for the answer, the important thing is that you stay on the map yourself

Without you I'm nothing,
No way to survive. 
You make my day.
You are my sun and I'll never Let you go.

blog you later.
                                                          - JanzQ

Jun 11, 2012

few things from today ~

Do not ever give up about him who makes you smile.
Life's greatest challenge is to find someone who knows all your faults, and the differences of you and knows ur screwed up things, but despite that accepts you as you and stays with you. 
 If you have a person you care about for real, hold onto him and give him a part of yourself. 
 Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you angry and miss him, when he is not with you.
I know what is like to be hurt, to miss someone important, to be hated, to think im hated, feel like nothing goes right, feeling bad for friend, friend stabbing a back... I know all of these. And look.
Here I am.
Still living and going on.
 <--- This is not just a picture.
You can have this.
You can feel like this.
You only need to believe in yourself.
And trust others.
All you need to do is not give up hope,
dont reject the beautiful things.
Remember when you are at the bottom..

I have been in the bottom.
many many times.
but I have got up there.
Myself or with the help of friends.

So, my mind goes from heaven to hell and back in seconds again.
My bestest friend ever  lives in england.
He is uper duper important to me and I love him much.
Mark you're my angel <3
I'm still going to move in england ASAP.
I really love england and the unfair part is...
My friend Laurie is there right now visiting London right now.
Well, My turn will come. :3

So I'll blog you later, relax, have fun and have good day!~

- JanzQ

Jun 2, 2012

Some thoughts of today.

"I would die for you, anyday, anytime, anyplace, anyway.."
  Almost everyone says that some time in this life.
Even I have said it.
But who will really sacrifice his life to let someone else live.
In a real situaiton would you do anything to save someone.
If you would, would it be a child, an elder, someone who u know, or someone u don't?
Would you save some one for what reason?
So u could  be remembered as a hero, or that someone else can live a full life?
I can't say how I would decide in such situation.
Would I live or die. It sounds horrible to say that u would keep living your own life and let some one else die.
We have tounderstand even if it sounds so horrible and selfish, it is what people is born to do.
We are born to survive.

Today and yesterday has been raining a lot.
10 secs out there and youre dripping. Well it makes me very poetic :3

(I do not own this picture)

Wings to you

Is love just a dream of a white,
pink color while the atmosphere, free from heart-shake?

Or is it a glowing fire,
that all your dreams
make fly ?

Why do your lips desire
to make my heart so
messed up?

I am unable to my soul anymore
to manage,
I want you entirely!

In my dream, you come to me
you lead your lap and kiss you ...

My lips on your chest to wander,
playing with my hands in your hair

Passion of you hold me entirely!

Your sweetness, lusts
to touch my lips,
my tongue violently will love ...

I feel the passion
power increases,
You cry out for more and more demanding!

I'll be crying in love
over the body,
melt inside of you,
you caught alight!

After a while one rising to the heavens
cry the same language of love!

Random poem I made
Have fun and blog ya soon! <3