Nov 12, 2014

He got into my life like an assassin and stole my love.

Heya.

I wrote over a month ago... I'm so ashamed.
As I told you in my last post I'm fighting with my depression with bad results.
I got depression pills, they're not kicking in yet, I quit school.. (once again)

Me and Slayer are done.... I JUST HATE THAT GUY!
He was such a child... ugh, even thinking about him gives me nausea.
He seriously started stalking me everywhere. EVERYWHERE!
So I had to delete him in sooo many places. He didn't let me sleep at all.
He kept calling me every - single - night.. -.-''
As you know I LOVE SLEEP so you can imagine how much it pissed me off.
Also when we broke up he started to hang out with my ex bestfriend I told u about.
They started to make fun of me everywhere he could and started threating me and my new boyfriend.
Yes you read right, I do have a new boyfriend, guessed who?
OFC! AleXander The Reaper~

I know what you're thinking "What is wrong with this woman and men?!" - right?
I'm Love-holic, So I can't be alone. Besides, I just want to be happy. Reaper makes me happy.
He treats me with respect and love like  BOY-/GIRLFRIEND should.
I know u keep thinking that I can't keep a man or anything.. I can assure you He is the one to keep.
I MEAN HE EVEN GOT PAST VILLE VALO! and if u know me at all, you know that is a lot!
But who wouldnt want someone like this:

He is tall, guitarist, funny, caring, lovely, nice, treats anyone with respect, gamer, handsome as hell, crafty, silly and everything I've ever wished for.
He loves C.O.B! <3
He has a scorpion tattoo on his left arm.
2 piercings (lip and brow)
He loves chains,spikes, cats, black and huskies like I do.
He is actually playing Assassins creed next to me. <3

I am just stunned by him, we have been together for over a month, living together and he has done nothing that annoyed me. NOTHING! <3 He is just perfect and most of all, with him, I feel happy and I don't see anyone else.

We have lots in common, like we both hate winter, he lives close, same age as me, He likes my clothes, same music and He comes along with my family better than anyone else. Can you understand me if I say I found my soulmate ?

This guy over here ^ Has made my life perfect, He treats me like a princess <3
He bought me roses ( my fav. flowers)
He made me dinner and we ate it in candle light <3 He plays and sings love songs to me, hangs out with me, takes me with his friends, he pauses his video game to text me back(!!!), he takes care of me if I'm ill, He cuddles with me everytime I want to, He shares his darkest secrets with me, He protects me from attackers ( Yes, we had a situation little while ago...) I JUST LOOOOOVE HIM SO MUCH! Okay Love is not enough! He makes me smile when I'm having my worst days, gives me massages and just.... wow... This guy is a keeper! <3 He can cope with all my wierd habits.

We have two cats together: Our boys Lacu and Busca <3

*Cuddles*


He liked to be alone before I came in.
Look at this cutie paw <3 ; w ;
I dunno what to say, I just love them soooo <3
I do have my Väinö cat too. He is living with my parents ya know. My dad and he get along so good.










 Im ran out of things to tell so there is a pic of me :3




Cya honeybunnies! <3
- Rebella Darkstar~

Oct 6, 2014

It just breaks my heart...

Hey you guys...
I havent been up here in a long time and only reason is my depression.
Its worse than ever, I have no strenght to do anything.... 
I have school ( which I'm pretty sure I've fucked up)
Im late on my studies and always late from school. 
Teachers dont like it at all and said I will be expelled if I dont start coming here on time.
Its really understandable ofc.
I'm just so tired all the time...

I had a fight with my little sister cause one stupid misunderstanding, Im really happy we worked it out, but still I feel like a living dead..
Even Slayer and I are fighting pretty much now when we got engaged..
Everything seems to be so much harder and We both are depressed and aggresive (but not violent, I'm glad)
We just have our fights cause also we both have poor heart conditoins and its only matter of time when someone of us will get a heartattack..

My bestfriend who I got from my class.. is not my bestfriend like I thought she was.. we dont even talk. Everything changed when I fixed her up with one guy... They are happy and really cute together but... Now I mean nothing to her evn tho She promised that no guy will come between us..
I have no idea what I did wrong.. 
I TRIED TO HELP HER FOR SATANS SAKE!
Yeah.. I've been more aggressive also these days.. I dont know why.. It just happens, I get mad so freaking easily..

What I've done these past days: 
Mostly I've layed home or I used to hangout with my bestfriend...
Then 8h schooldays in general.
Nothing else actually.. I've got nothing to do and If I'd have something then I'm too tired to do it.
I hangout with Slayer every now and then.
We both have money problems and cause he lives so far away we can't see eachother that often.

But also I've got some good news!
Yesterday was the happiest day in a past month.
I was hanging around and joking with one new friend.
AleXander. He is a great singer and most of all a good friend.
So I know I'm not completely alone, which helps me a lot cause thats the biggest fear I have in thi whole wide world. 

I should be studying now so I've gotta go. Heres a song for you to listen:

Love you!! and Cya <3


- Rebella Darkstar ~

Aug 17, 2014

My whole summer (Rock 'n Roll and summer fun)



!!!HeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHeyHey!!!


Sorry I havent been here for a little while. I had a really busy summer. I did all kind of stuff but what I didnt do was the normal activities to do. ( you know me, Im far from normal)
I know a lot of you have been waiting and checking for my updates, so Im honestly sorry that I havent been here updating. I even had a whole week without phone or computer. I was just sitting at home with my sweetie, just chilling and getting rest. 


What Ive been up to;


1. Work - No  official summer job but I made up my missing school hours.  Nothing interesting... just boring, normal house duties.

2.Played Minecraft - Yes, I am back to that. That son of a bitch just got me hooked again.


3. Went to Särkänniemi - Its a amusement park in Tampere. I just love the place. I went with my lil bro. 
Top 5 of the rides are:
1.Tornado


 best ride of any I've been in <3

2.Take off
Twist and turn, loving the G-force <3

3.AudiRacing
 Like bumper cars, but bumping isnt allowed, still fun tho <3

4.Tyrsky
roughly translated to "Surf". Mostly I love the view!<3

5.Hurricane
 Up, down. This topsy turvy ride is just great. <3



5. Meeting my darling<3 - Yeah, I promised not to date anyone and not to post that in here but I cant help it. HE IS JUST PURE AWESOMENESS!
I mean just..... just... look at him!
He is the cutest, most adorable, funniest, kindest, nicest monkey I've ever met <3 Christian a.k.a Slayer <3



6. My sisters wedding ( sorry I've got no photos I could post)  - It was really fun altough I was sick. Seriously I had a throat inflammation... But still I laughed most of the time, I sang karaoke, I danced, I was in a limo!! :o 

7. and the SIMPLY BEST THING!!  MILJOONA (=million) ROCK!
I was in the front row, my voice is still gone and i still cant hear well.

4 bands were performanced there:
*Eppu Normaali
*Popeda
* The 69 eyes
* H.I.M. (!!!!!!!!!!<3333333)
The 69 eyes
The 69 eyes










 I still can't believe I was there. OMFV!! He is just way-too-mother-fucking-cute to be true. His voice melted me in there, I cried, I tried to reach for him, I screamed my lungs out, I almost fell on my knees, I almost threw up for screaming so loud, and I nearly even passed out.

"It's poetry carved in flesh
This beautiful hell of ours
To the deadliest sin we confess
(Tears of joy fill our eyes)
We are safe where disfigured saints
Cry out their prophecies of doom

My heart's a graveyard, baby
And to evil we make love
On our passion's killing floor
In my arms, you won't sleep safely
And of lust we are reborn
On our passion's killing floor..."
-H.I.M - Passions killing floor-

Somebody tell me 666 ways to say Goodnight :D
I wrote this almost whole night and now I just wanna curl up in my bed with "Slayer" and sleep. (If the cat lets us) *yawn*

Goodnight blog-dogs!!


-Rebella Darkstar~  XoXoXoXo


Jun 12, 2014

Rainyday Activities~

I've done a lot in these couple of days.
BUT first...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE SISTER~



You're The sweetest little one~
I love you. You're always gonna be my little sis. I'm always here for you.
I wish you an awesome Sweet 16!<3









And Happy late Birthday to RayVen~ and early Birthday wishes to MoM<33


Now. I can tell what Ive been up to. I cleaned my room in 4h ( World record! It sill looks messy..)
Uhm I colored my hair some Tigerstripes.
 Made couple new clothes.
Painted some Jars.
 Later today, Tomorrow and Friday (the 13th and fullmoon *.*) I need to help my older sis with her moving. And Sunday morning Ill be in church to see my friend get her comfirmation~ (ok. Dont ask)
 I counted all the H.I.M. songs I have in my spotify, 71 songs. I JUST LOOOOVE IT!! <33
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm<3


I can't think anything else now. Im just listening to music and thinking about going to my older sisters soon.


See ya honeybunnies <33 Also My little EmoMonster keep your cool! ;)



XoXo~

-Rebella Darkstar~

May 30, 2014

Gothic bling

Hey all my lovelies <3

Again I'm acting like an complete Idiot and staying up all night, tommorrow will be the last day of school. For everyone else.... I have to work trough summer to make up the hours I've been missing. But any how tommorow is going to be only 3 hours so I dont think It matter that much. When Im tired I just find everything so hilarious. ehhehheh.

Hmmmhh... I've turned just itsybitsy more gothic style again. Nothing radical but some little changes. More poetry, darken look, and I've made some new jewelry from supplies my grandma gave me.



This Ring is made out of a ringbase, a button and some bead separators.




This Necklace is made out of a metal finding and a old pendant, Its a doublefaced piece.

Heres the front....

















And here is the back of the piece, couple of 
jumprings and some nailpolish.




    
 This collar is made out of Velvet and a chain with a metal finding :3



Very dark jewelry <3 Im so proud of them.
Anyway, I'll get a cup of coffee, go for a cigarette, do my makeup and hair and go Hell 

I mean school >.<

So Good Morning blogdogs <3

Xoxo~
-Rebella




May 21, 2014

My Relevations (Warning this is a long one)

Im feeling that I am lost in life.

I dont know what I am, what I wanna be, what to do...
Im just lost. I can't sleep, I can't eat properly.

As you can see this is gonna be an A.N.G.S.T post.
I just dont know what to do with my life...
some people say that I'm never gonna be anything. 

For my friends I just wanna say that I'm sorry for every shitty thing I've done to you
Im not an easy person to live with. Im aware of that
 
My depression is coming back and even stronger than it was..
SO I can't promise any changes of my behaviour.

I just feel like I have fucked up everyones life.. I try my best to cope in this situation.

One of my (ex) friend said that my sadness is my own fault.
My depression
My bullying
My bad relationships
Everything is my own fault.

Im not saying that I'm not guilty of anything. ofc I am.
My unique style, my odd behaviour and my witchcraft hobby is a taboo around here.
Im pierced and tattooed, smoking and loud girl. Im chubby which in this modern world is not so acceptable.

I am also slightly mentally deficient.
I have underdeveloped gross motor skills.
My balance has not developed in a normal pace.

I have to thank my bestest friends

My beautiful sister Tiia <333

My cutie brother Joona <3

I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so MUCH!! <333
You two are so Important to me and I hope you stay in my life Forever and ever <3


Here is something happy for you :)

BABY ART!!


The paint is made of food coloring dye and sourcream so its suitable for any ages :3


The only place we got his hand print is his mommys pants :'3 We made mothersday cards :3
Also I draw this poetic picture and colored my hair blonde/black

My new IG: Princess_dead_elf



Couple pictures just to cheer you up :3 
Once again I'm also single.  I think I just dont want to update all of these STUPID relationship statuses here all the time.

Thats all for now. Im thinking about a new video update :3 You'll see later.



XoXo~  
Rebella Darkstar~




Apr 23, 2014

Filthy Hearts found eachother

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
As I'm sure you figured out that.. IM EXTRA HAPPY!
I told a little ago that I have a crush..
uhm... Look where we are now!! <3
Here. What a cutie?! 
We listen same kind of music and both like hockey
(We playfully fight about it all th time cause he likes other team and I like other. and the teams against eachother in the finals. o_O)
Something to laugh about in the future then :D

We have commons// Differences:
*Music //  Problems (OFC)
*Style  //Different hockey teams
*Dreams // Age ( He is 21)
*Personality  // He is chill,  I have a Temper 
*Food!!
*Family is important to both of us






ppsssttt.. I Love you Dani <3 






We've been laughing and hanging around for (plz dont laugh) 13  days.
But we match way too good.
It feels like He has always been with me.
Im pretty sure this is just a dream but I try to stay positive :D



Oh and My sisters wedding is coming soon. too soon.
I need a new dress but im broooke.. :c
Any Ideas Anyone?!?! Im gonna be a bridesmade o.o
Me? Can you imagine it? :D I barely can.
(ugh, its hard t type.. im really itchy cause of paint and wood dust.. I've been working on a little project.) I  gonna leave this short. Since it freaking late again. I never learn 

Night my lovelies <3<3

XoXo~

      -Rebella Darkstar 

Apr 7, 2014

Weekend (unnecessary update)

Sooooooo...
I did all kinds of stuff on weekend.

I planted some easter grass.
Cute little ones huh? 
 

Last night I made these cutie cupcakes with my big sister <3

Mmmm.. yummiiieess ...<3 





                                                                                               









I also hang my adorable black panther wallflag over my workspace <3


So fierce but pretty <3


You can also see some roses from my 16th birthday and my other little stuff like marbles :D













Here is another beautiful sunset from last friday, same place same colors but different day <33
goooosssh nature can be so beautiful <33














And ofc what would sunday be without any selfies <3

Rock n roll all the way my darlings <3 My sweet little Rottens <3



















Goodnight, tommorrow is a school day!! <3


XoXo~


-  Rebella Darkstar

Apr 4, 2014

Peace, love and Harmony


I had a pretty crappy day.
Work was rough in a way and boss was not happy,
but when I got out of there I saw a really beautiful sunset.
(sorry for the quality, phone camera)
That actually made me quite happy.
I've had a "Peace, love and harmony" - additude the whole day. 
I even made a cool pendant. 














It 
took me couple hours to do that pendant but I'm proud of it. 
Its a keyring with some cotton string, wooden beads and some natural feathers. ( as you can see OwO)
Looks little bit like a dream cathcer but its so much smaller.
I want to make couple of these to give to my friends :3

That is kinda all I had for today. Work and some beautiful things. I don't always love life but It can still surprise me <3
Goodnight now my honey bee's <3


XoXo~

- Rebella Darkstar

Apr 2, 2014

Dreamers life

I dont understand this anymore.
My life is really wierd by now.
Something about this day disturbes me a lot.
Bus driver, my boss, some random dude... Have been nice to me.
I dont know.

I went to work to do one magazine post and a blog post.
My boss told me I did them really well and blah blah.

I got out of work and went to the buss stop.
Well My bus drove by and I was pissed off.
When the second one came I realized I didnt have the money for the ride. 
I stepped out of the bus but it was still there.
Bus driver opened the door and invited me in.
He said : " You're such a pretty girl I can't leave you freezing outside, hop in"

I came out of the bus and one random dude came there and started flirting with me.
WITH ME?!
Like was he blind?
I know Im pretty but I'm not that pretty.

And about the prettiness:







This look was at my birthday party







This one is from couple days ago <3











Want to talk to me?

KIK: Rebella.katori

Want to see more of my pictures?
 
Instagram: Rebella_JanzQ

All for now blogdogs <3


XoXo~

-Rebella Darkstar

Only me, simple me. (Update)

Now I had the time to write again.
I've been exreeeeeeeemely busy.
I really want to make a new post that how I'm doing.

Stress:
I have been stressing about so many things.
School is one and probably the biggest thing.
I have been afraid for 6 months that I'm getting kicked out from there.
I have so many missed classes, 12 tests to do and almost 60 hours to make up.
Im afraid that my time is running out and im not going to graduate.
and If I dont graduate my options are really low.
I know I have to make it this year, otherwise I can never have a normal life.
I can't have a job = I cant move on my own = I cant live like my age= I will never be independent.
Thats what I want. I dont want to have a job, but I need it.

Second thing I'm stressing about is my friends and family.
Everything seems fine when someone looks at my realtionships with other but truely Its not how it is. Most of my so called friends are not friends at all. They just hang around with me when they have nothing else to do.
There is some people I miss so much but Im too scared to tell them. Im pretty sure they dont believe me at all. Since words are not as strong as actions.
I hope I could do somethign to prove my feelings for them. 
Prince Robbie, Fry Nordic, Cyber, Rayven and many many others too.
My family and I are doing pretty well. 
I don't fight with them and my sister is still one of the angels in my life.
But still.. Im always worried.

  About my love life:
I don't have anyone right now and it seems I'm not having anyone for a while now.
My 7 month relationship with Rufius did not go as planned but we broke up as friends.
I had one boy but I dont count it as a realtionship because it only lasted for a week.
I was a bandage and not very good one.
I do have a crush on someone but I'm not sure how (s)he feels about me.
Im not telling anything about him/her yet since I dont want to ruin our friendship.


About me:
I am doing quite fine. 
My feelings are quite steady and I'm not so sad all the time.
Yes, I still do have my up's and down's but I know that that is how it's supposed to be.
Because if I didn't it would mean I would be emotionless like I was when I d´still used my depression medication. I stopped taking them about 9 months ago.
I feel like they only made me feel worse. I don't like any kinds of medications because I feel like that any chemichals are only damage for the brain. I have to use some pain medication every now and then cause of my back ( I'll explain it later) and my migrens.
Every chemichal affects how you are as a person.
My back is sort of broken. I tried to kick my older brother but failed epicly and fell on my back. I couln't move much for a week and it still aches every now and then.
Anyone volunteer to massage it? :D
But everything is fine with my body.

Random things:
Im getting a tattoo as soon as I can and strangely this one is not about money.
I got enough for my birthday.
Im 17 now. ( That descripion wont let me change it -.-'')
Im working every now and then at different places.
Now I work with kids and teens ( only girls tho.)
I have given up almost every hobby I had cause of my school, so not much things with music or any other arts.

I think this is enough for now. Simple update.

I love you my sweet readers! <3 I hope someone actually still even reads this :D   


Xoxo~ 
-Rebella Darkstar