Sep 10, 2015

Don't cry, I'll cry for you.

Heyy guys....

Here's the situation now. I'm seriously done with everything right now.
I hate school, I almost can't afford it and this is stressing the sh*t out of me...
I don't know how much longer I can even leave my house.
I'm in a situation that I've got 4 friends but almost no one can afford or have time to come at my place. I can not afford to meet them myself either. This depression is getting too hard for me to stand again...

Do you know the feeling when you wake up in the morning, crying because you know you have to go to school, that you have to see people who make fun of you, who laugh at you when there is something you cant do, who remind you how sad you really are?
Do you know what its like to stay at home alone without friends, having nothing fun to do?
Do you understand now why I feel bad?
I know it might sound pathetic but to me, that's something really big.
Do you know the feeling when you are really tired, but dont want to go to sleep because you know, that tomorrow will come faster?

I cried couple days ago because I couldn't afford staying at AleXander's for the night.
I feel bad about even leaving my house cause I know it costs money I dont have, and then there is our 'wonderful' goverment, they have decided that students have very limited amount of money, I get 15€ a month, not even enough to cover my gasoline ( only going to school and back home) for a week..
I hate this. I hate it so much. I have no energy to go to work, my depression wont allow it.

I'm clueless, what should I do.. What can I do.. I actually dont want to live but I dont want to die either. This is just wrong, but I hope this life will get better.

Im gonna go now, I should be studying again. Bye dolls!

-Rebella

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