Nov 23, 2015

Whatever comes ahead

Hey you.

I have to open up a little.

I have one thing in my mind... Even tho my biggest source of stress is over... I don't know how to let it go.. It is really hard.
I thought about it last night and I didn't sleep at all.. How can I leave this behind me? I would tell you what is going on but I am forbidden to. I can only say that about in a month I will get the final answer to this. And then whatever comes ahead I have to accept it. That is the scariest part.

If everything goes wrong I have to live with it the rest of my life knowing that they did not believe me, me who was telling the truth. Will truth always find its way? Will karma really give back all the bad things or not? Whatever comes ahead, I know I have to live with it. I know I have to accept it. I dont know what to do, I cant tell anyone what is going on. It's forbidden, and I am not sure will I ever get the peace in my mind.

 I just want to cleanse myself from all the bad energy that is left but what if I can't? What can I do? Forgiveness is too much. I can't forgive and forget. If things go right, can i still get over this? I'm sick of thinking about this everyday. It has already been 2 years. Everything seemed to go well, but when I heard his voice. I cried and cried. I was shaking and I felt sick to my stomach. All the bad memories, got on my mind once again. It came to my head like a film, like a really bad horror movie. I felt the fear again. No one seems to believe me because I did not react like many others would do. Just because I am not like others, they think I am lying. To me that is hurtful.

Ironically this is one of my fav songs now

Here's all I need to say now. I love ya'll


1 comment: