Aug 10, 2016

Back to School

So ya guys. I had ridiculously busy summer, although I still got to rest some. The whole summer did not go as planned but I still had quite fun most of the time. Ofcourse with someone like me with all the problems I have, it was not all easy.
Today lets try to concentrate on the positive, I will vlog you later about the few problems I had. That will explain why there has not been more vlogs in the whole summer.

First of all I started to make myself healthier for real this time. I eat little bit better and I exercise. Thats pretty much only because of Pokémon Go. I love that game! Always been a fan of Pokémon and now this game has changed my life. My weight actually has risen a bit, which makes me a bit concerned but I will wait and see. Not everything happens immediately and losing weight with my genes is going to be a tough journey. Im not sure how many there are to support me but atleast I have one person who is there. Im glad of that.

Today I went back to school  (like the title might have told you) and this is kinda wierd feeling for me. I still have no idea of my class, and the school has none either. It will all get clear next monday. I hope. I will try harder this year and you know what they say, third time is the charm, right?
Anyway, I will try my absolute best and if it still does not work out, I know it is time for a change. People have told me that it is all up to me. I know it is, but what they don't realise is that, this whole school thing is not easy for me at all. Anxiety makes it almost like living hell, and takes about my whole energy of the day. I slept 24h before I came to school, even thought of school drained my energy completely. Tomorrow I will try even harder.

I still work, even though I started to study. The job is something I can do wherever and whenever. So Im sure I can manage that. Financially we are still unstabel, and no idea how it will get better. Every secong of everyday, I try my best to fix all that. Me being in school is doing some help.

Also during the summer, I got some help for me. To my depression and anxiety but it is not going smoothly either. I had no visits to my nurse in a moth and during that time, it got worse. I was in bed all the time, basically living in there. This month though I'm sure everything will get better as long as I don't give up. Life can be good, even for me, and I know it. I just need to try. Im kinda lost in my thoughts. What is my number one priority? I have no idea, maybe trying to make a stable future for myself. Maybe.

This was all I have to for now. If you have any questions, or concerns. Leave a comment, and I will answer.

Bye now loves.
-Rebella