Warning! This post might be somewhat long, somewhat offensive to someone and maybe even confusing since I'm not on the top of my head right now.
I have been under a rock for couple of weeks now, not even sure have I been thinking or have I been running away from my thoughts. However it may be, I want to explain myself a little.
Me and AleXander are no longer together. I'm not going to get into any major details, cause my point is to hurt no one. Simply we were not happy anymore and decided to quit, before we both get incredibly miserable. We decided to move on and because of that my life has been extremely different. There is tons of things to do even when I feel like I have no strength to do anything. Well. All I can say is that my life will change radically and I need some time to make things right again.
For the past two years I've lived a life which had no-purpose. I was just surviving and that's not what I want from my life. It has been extremely rough time, but I know over time I will survive this. I know I'm not alone but my brain tries to make me feel lonely and alone, I'm a victim of my own brain. Do you know what it is like when you see your dreams slowly die, and you can do nothing about it because you have promised something? I say, sometimes you need to break a promise to get yourself straight and feeling well. Even then when it will hurt like hell. I never wanted to hurt you. But I had to. Some of you might think its extremely selfish act, some of you might say I'm strong for defending myself. I have no opinion on that, all I know is that It had to be done.
Life is not for surviving only. its called life, so you could actually LIVE your life. You need more experiences, more travelling, more things to try, more things to see. Life is constant learning and what you go trough determines who you are. You are an individual. No one can come to you and say your opinion on something is wrong, because you have a human right to make your own opinions about anything in life. There is so much different styles of life, you know why? Because no one likes everything the same! I know it might be obvious to some of you, but what I have learned that people need to be reminded.
Honestly, these past couple of weeks have made me mad to this world. How everything got this sad, miserable, and wrong? Little children are being manipulated to be tiny version of their parents and forbidden to make their own opinions, and media has taken everyone into this awful web of lies. My opinion on all of this is that everything has two sides. I'm really sick of people not waking up to the truth about this world, we are killing ourselves and everything around us because we want to be what media tells us to be. THAT SEEMS REALLY WRONG TO ME! Don't be offended about my opinions, well ofcourse I will make someone mad because this is internet. Like I said, no one has the same opinions so what I am typing here, might offend you. Im not sorry. I have a right to my opinion just as much as you have.
Also let me explain what I mean by the "right to your opinion" You can think inside of your head whatever you please, anything, but you actually need to think is that should you bring your opinion out. "Is my opinion something that could really hurt someone?" "Should I tell that girl next to me that I hate her shirt?" Whatever your opinion is, we should try to keep it to ourselves if its straight for hurting someone. We should atleast TRY to be nice to eachother, no one can survive alone.
*Sigh* My point is. You have a right to love and hate anything you please. But you do NOT have right to hurt anyone. Accidents do happen. then you tell that person that you are sorry. We need more forgiveness in this world.
All I know for sure right now is that life will get better if you decide so. We have such a huge power in us if we just break our chains and let it be free.
I think this was all I had to say now. I love you all! and... Thank you <3
Also shoutout to my bestest friend ever PAWI!<3 Thank you for opening up my eyes <2 I love you so much!! <3