Mar 24, 2017

I am jealous, just like you.

Hey all. Todays topic is something I've had some problems with lately, and that is: Jealousy.

First I'd like to say that I understand why people are jealous. It comes from the times, we were still surviving with our basic instincts. Jealousy is something that has driven us humans forward quite a lot. It comes from our desire to be better. As you probably know, jealousy can be quite a curse too and unfortunately jealousy is a thing that prevents many of us living our lives to the fullest.

There is a lot of things to be jealous about, but it all comes to one same thing: Wanting something that you do not have. It might be something that you might own someday. (for an example: you feel jealous of someones awesome shirt, and you go and buy yourself the same shirt.) Or it could be that you are jealous of attention. You might be jealous of the way someone treats someone else but not you. This is something normal, and everyone of us is jealous about something in our lifetimes. What matters is that, how do you act because of this feeling? What do you do, to get rid of the feeling of being jealous?

When the jealousy is too much? When does it become a problem?
For me personally it has been a problem in different situations. It has been a problem to me, when my ex-partners have been so jealous of me they have stopped me from doing things that make me happy, like seeing my friends. I have lost friends because of jealousy. I lost some of my friends when my ex was so jealous, he did not let me spend ANY time with them. My friends felt abandoned and left. Also some of my friend is my youth were jealous of me having a boyfriend and decided to leave because of that. Jealousy has even been destroying my relationship with my family. In both sides people being jealous of me, or about me, have made things very complicated.

I am not clean myself either. I have ruined things in my own life because I have been jealous too. Actually I still am about certain things. I have been jealous of a lot of things during my life time. When I was a child, I was jealous of how other girls were thin, had pretty clothes, had hobbies, had a lot of friends, had "nicer" toys. I was jealous how other kids had money on field trips, how others went abroad, or their family went to an amusement park. I have never traveled much, and when I think about it I have not been experiencing much at all (well that depends on who I'm comparing myself to.)
I still am jealous about things, only the topics have changed over the years. Yesterday I found myself being so jealous about something, that it made me cry for for a long time. After that I realized something.

Being jealous is normal to us human beings.
The difference is that in our modern society jealousy is not as needed as it used to be. 
I realized that jealousy can be a force driving us to better ourselves if things do not go overboard. You should not be jealous of someones body or life. If you are, I think you should find the rason for it and try to make your own life better for yourself. Don't let jealousy ruin your relationships, dont let jealousy stop you doing things that you enjoy. Find the reasons why you are jealous of something, accept it, let the jealousy go and work towards a better tomorrow, but don't forget to have fun and still keep living in the present. Life happens now.

This is all for now. Thank you for reading and I love you all!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar~

Feb 8, 2017

Excitement in my life!

Hello there!
You're here to see what makes me so excited right?
I bough tickets to Miljoonarock again!! I'm mostly going there to see H.I.M. again because if you have been here a while you know I'm like the most obsessed H.I.M. fan on this earth :D
This is going to be my second time seeing them live. The first time was in Miljoonarock also in 2014. I will be going atleast with my sistewr but I'm not sure how many others will come with us.
Ticket was 50€

What is Miljoonarock you might be asking yourself?
Miljoonarock (translates to =millionrock) is a one day music festival organized by Vesa Keskinen who is the owner of Finlands biggest (originally) village shop. Now the whole store is HUGE and its called Tuuri (=translates to luck) People go there from all over Finland and possibly all over the world.
This year the whole thing is going to be super special cause it is going to be the owners 50th birthday at the exact date. They have said on their website that it is going to be special but they wont tell any details. So I'm super exited.

Who are preforming?
Well There is going to be 5 finnish artists/ bands.
Biggest of them obviously is H.I.M. and the main reason why I had to get the tickets. I wont be telling much about H.I.M. to yall 'cause you will be hearing tons more things on my blog about them, but I'll give a bit info on the other bands :D

There is also going to be Kolmas nainen (=translates to "the third woman")
Kolmas nainen is a finnish rock band  found in 1982 from Alavus - "Alavus' Dr. Feelgood". The band bounced to fame in the 1984 by the Finnish Rock Championships where they came in second place with equal points with the winner Peer Günt. Kolmas nainen is known mostly by their singer and song author Pauli Hanhiniemi (vocals, keyboards, harmonica, accordion) . Other members were Pasi Kallioniemi (drums), Raimo Valkama (bass), Sakari Pesola (guitar) and Timo Löyvä (guitar during 1982-1989) and Timo Kivikangas (guitar during the period 1989-1994).

Klamydia (=translates to Chlamydia)
Klamydia is a finnish punk band found in 1988 from Vaasa. The band's history is long and intricate. The band has gone through several changes of crew and album releases have been frequent from the beginning, the band has released a total of more than 450 pieces. The band's reputation comes mostly from their humor, but some of the band's songs are socially conscious works and serious-minded songs. Critics have never appreciated klamydia, but the albums are still selling well. 

Eppu Normaali (Eppu The Normal)
Eppu Normaali is a Finnish Pop-Rock band from Ylöjärvi. (Which is the city I currently live in ;3) It ushered as a new wave punk band in 1976, but their music became more melodic punk. In the 1980s the band's style approached closer to pop music. Their first public appearance took place in Rock's Finnish Cup qualifier in Tampere Gorilla in 1977. Sarcastic and humorous songs were seen as an attack on the progressive rock music. Eppu Normaali was not successful in the Finnish Cup, but in the jury sat Juice Leskinen called Eppu Normaali to get honorable mentions.

Petri Nygård
Petri Nygård (real name Petri Jukka Mikael Laurila born 8 February 1975 in Kristianstad, Sweden) is a Finnish rapper. Laurila's career began as an artist called "Dream" 1989-2003 in Nuera-band along with Henry Kapral (aka Skem).The first piece of "Petri Nygård" was a rapsong criticising finnish rockmusic "Vitun Suomirokkia" (=Fucking Finnish rock). It was originally released on the Internet in 2000. He made two more albums "Petri presidentixi" and "Hovinarrin paluu" with the Nygård name before he started making music in English as an artist Travis Bicle.
Travis Bicle performed in the music video of What's Poppin and released on 18 April 2007, the album Committed.

Feelings about last time!
I believe the last time in 2014 was one of the greatest experiences in my life! I was in the first row trough the WHOLE concert. I had to see H.I.M. as close as possible. I was screaming so loud I nearly puked all over the place, I was hysterical and crying tons. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Preforming there the last time were Eppu Normaali, Popeda, The69eyes, and H.I.M. I'll put the link to my blog post I did about it then: Here
I didn't give much knowledge back then, but I really enjoyed it. Heres a couple more photos I have from 2014 (sorry for the quality)

I think this is all from this now, do you want me to do a vlog/blogpost about it? Let me know!
Blog ya guys later!
-Rebella Nanan Darkstar

Jan 24, 2017

What I learned in the makeup lesson!


I thought I'd share some makeup tips I learned (or mostly verified) by a professional in a Beauty Academy makeup lesson. Here is some information that will be useful for someone who is just starting or there might be some details you didn't already know. It was a small course of  basic makeup skills. Nothing was really new to me but it was nice to get a diploma and verify my knowledge as real. Also it was really fun to try something new!

👇So here are some tips!
  • Good makeup brushes are important! A good brush can make even a not-so-perfect product look much better! A bad brush can make your super amazing product look like a real mess. 
  • Always clean your face before applying makeup. The oils on your skin might make the makeup runny or cakey.
  • Using a good makeup base cream can be really helpful on getting the full effect from your foundation. 
  • Remember, always keep the mirror parallel to your face to get the best result.

This demo-make up is by: Ritva Aalto
Clean face of our lovely model Heli
Makeup done by Ritva Aalto

☺Base makeup:

  • Concealer should be applied after foundation, because the foundation might cover up more than you actually think.
  • Every cream should be applied from the back of your hand. This makes the cream warm up a bit and become smoother and easier to apply.
  • The right spot to test a proper foundation is not on your arm. It actually is the best to test on your jawline. 
  • You should have 2 different shades of foundation in a year. Darker one for the summer and lighter one for the winter. In spring or fall, you will find the perfect shade by mixing these two.
  • If youre wearing a low neck shirt you should apply the foundation as far as it goes, and dont forget to blend as you go down. Also if youre having yoir hair up or you have short hair, you should apply the foundation on your ears aswell.
  • Powder should be applied with a "sponge" or with a brush. Sponge gives you more coverage, brush makes the power look more natural. If you apply powder with a brush, swirling movement is the best.
  • Use a translucent powder if you only need to set your makeup, use a greenish tint powder if you want to take away redness.
  • Contouring and higlighting should always be applied for your face, not straight from a chart. Learn what shape your face is and then use contouring and higlighting to bring out your best features. Example. If you already have a skinny nose, nose contouring can make yoir nose look non-existant and look funny.
  • Heart/Diamond shaped face are the easiest to contour.

Base makeup by Ritva

Base makeup by me.
  • The shape of your brows should be like a birds wing. Thick first and narrowing towards the end. 
  • Natural brows should be colored, not drawn.
  • The highest point of your brow should be easy to check. Take a pen or something similar and place it in an angle,  from the tip of your nose, over your iris. to the brow bone. (This sounds harder than it is, and it is really hard to explain.)
  • For the most natural brows, choose a shade lighter or  a shade darker from your hair color.
Brows by me

  • Apply eyeshadow upwards from the outer corners of your eyes so they wont become sad and droopy looking.
  • Light base color (from the same color group you choose for your eyeshadow) is very helpful what comes to blending.
  • Eyeshadow can be applied quite generously, dont be shy with it.
  • Learn what shape of eyes you have and use an eyeliner shape best suited for your eyes, but be sure to play with it sometimes, you might be surprised.
  • Apply the first coat of mascara using a zig-zag motion to bring volume, and the second coat in an upwards motion to bring length and curve.
  •  If you are wondering if your mascara is dry or not the best trick is to listen if you can hear a "smooch" sound when you pull the wand out of the tube. If you hear it then your mascara is fresh, if not your mascara should be thrown out.
  • If you have a pinkeye, and use yoir mascara you should seriously get a new tube, otherwise the pinkeye will stay.
  • Never lend your mascara to anyone!

  • You should use a lipliner under your lipstick to make your lipcolor last longer, be more opaque and this prevents the lipstick from running on the tiny "wrinkles" around your lip.
  • You can just line your lips with a lipliner or fill them in. Lining prevents the running, and filling makes the color last longer.
  • Lipliner does not need to be 100% color matched. Using different shades can make your lipstick be much more dimentional.
  • Remember to blot your lipstick. Blotting means that after applying, you gently press your lips on a papertowel. After this feel free to apply a second coat of lipstick if needed. 


Here are the best tips I can give in general. Always remember to have fun with your makeup and be creative! There is no actual rules in makeup but these are more like guidelines. If you have anything to ask, leave it in the comments and I will answer as well as I can 💕

I love yall! and I'll blog you later 💜💋💀

 -Rebella Nana Darkstar~

Jan 12, 2017

New year, same me // First of 2017

Hello everyone.
Sorry it has again been so long since the last time.  The reason being, I've been tired, sad, and trying to get my life back in order.
ALSO I haven't been writing because my computer is a bit busted and my keyboard is not working properly and I do not have an extra one. I have an Acer laptop and I already have to use an external screen because the backlight got busted. I'm seriously starting to consider a new computer and this time I wish it will be a proper one. Like an actual tabletop computer so I could edit videos better.

My life has changed. ONCE AGAIN! I got kicked out of school. Yeah, I know its my own fault for not being present but here is how it happened. In our schools we have this appointment thing, what I call as a "second chance- talk". Where you go to talk to a student counselor and try for one last time to actually show them that you are worth being there and your studies will go well. We had the appointment, or at least they sent me the appointment info by mail. EVEN THO I told them not to send it by mail, cause I won't be able to get it. My mail went straight to my ex. So, I never got the appointment info, so I didn't go. If you don't go in the appointment, school decides that you are no longer interested and they fire you. That's what happened me.

 I'm not completely wrecked, I will start working next week. It's kinda hard to explain what the place actually is, but basically you go there 3-4 times a week to do all kinds of this. Learning how to get your life back in order, how to clean, how to make food, how you go to a store and they help you get to in school, or work places and you also do a little working there aswell. You get paid a tiny bit. There are some strict rules, to make us get used to the rules we will have in our future workplaces. Like we get 3 brakes during the day. One in the morning, one lunch, one in the afternoon. That I believe is written in laws. I'm not quite sure. I'm not the most educated person. The reason I know about this place is that I have been there once before. I'm really happy to be able to go there again.

Fighting with this depression is still extremely rough, I have stopped  all of my medications because, they only seem to make things worse. I just moved back to Ylöjärvi so I don't go to any theraphy yet either. I hope the workplace will help me to get there. I'm going to the doctors this month to talk about a lot of stuff. For en example. (embarrasingly enough) about my constantly missing period.

I have some good news too. I quit smoking! I've been vaping instead. Today it has been 7 days since the last smoke. I did try to smoke yesterday, because i thought I missed it. That was a big mistake. It tasted awful and it was not as pleasing to me as it used to be. Only in one week I have noticed  some quite dramatic changes. My voice is clearer, I don't cough every morning, headaches are going away,  and the most obvious, my breath and hands don't smell so awful anymore. I'm still waiting for some changes to come. Able to smell things better, able to taste things better, not being so short breathed etc. It has been semi-though but I know it for better good. Like for myself but also for getting children.


Christmas went as same as it always does. Great. I loved to spent time with my family. I got nice gifts, but I honestly think the gifts are not the most important thing really.

Look at my gorgeus, adorable, boyfriend LitePaw <3
New years went the same as usual except that we had my godmother/aunt and her family there. I love my godmother! She is the one who teaches me all the things about magic and herbs, she teaches me about stones and energies and I just love that. Not many are as well educated about the things (in my family) as she is. We had our fortunes told like everyone years, but also this year we did a "New years magic"  which basically is two pieces of papers. on the other one you write what you want to leave in the past years, and on the other one you write what you would like to have on the next year. I will make it a tradition from now on. We had some good food and just talked with eachother. There is never drinking in the holidays in my family.  on new years eve my parents take only one glass of champagne, that's it.

Also I want to show you my version of #Endthestigma amongst mental illnesses. Here it is:
These are some of my diagnosis. These must be the ones that affect my life the most.
I think this all I have to say for now. I love you all. Thank you for reading. Blog you later.

-Rebella Nana Darkstar