Oct 13, 2017

Hippie or not to be?

Welcome friend!

I have been getting quite a lot of questions form you guys about my recent transformation. So here is what I thought. I'll answer to the most frequently asked ones here, all at once.

If you're new here, let me explain a bit the reason for this post. I used to be a real mash up of metal, emo, punk, and goth styles for many many years. I started as an emo when I was about 12-13 years old. Then my looks kept getting gradually darker and more radical.  And now the past year I've been totally different. Which brings me to the first, most frequently asked, question.

Are you a hippie?

This is quite a big question since the word hippie has been changed over time. TO many people the word hippie means something totally different than what I consider as being a hippie. When you think of someone who is a hippie, some of you thinks of the most classical 1960's flower patterned, psychedelic, rebellious people promoting peace and love. To someone else the word hippie could mean something simple. Like a person who cares about our mother earth, and has nothing to do with the looks.

If you consider someone who...

  • believes in values such as peace, love, and happiness
  • promotes kindness, care and respect as a human to another
  • is down to earth and takes people as people
  • cares for our earth and thinks about being ecological.
  • loves animals and respects our nature.
... as a hippie. Then yes, yes I am.

Are you a vegan?

This I have a clear answer to. No, I am not. I personally do not think that humans should give up meat. It has been in our diet since forever. I still am a really picky eater, unfortunately. I do try to learn new things all the time.  I'm not saying things are okay the way they are. It is true that animals live in horrible conditions. and that I do not accept. Also I Am trying to learn to get dairy out of my diet. We don't need milk from any other than our mother. It would be healthier for me, cause my stomach is very sensitive to dairy products, and I'm lactose-intolerant.

How do you feel about fur-farming?

Fur farming is something I do not accept. We have all the possibilities to make great faux-fur. The conditions that fur-bearing animals are in, are horrifying. Leather would be okay if it would be farmed from a cow that has been taken for food.

 How about animal testing?

I do not support animal testing in any way. We have various of other ways to test products. We are intelligent enough to understand it is wrong. We should be intelligent enough to stop it. I don't personally find comfortable as a makeup lover to buy any cosmetic-products that are tested on animals. There are so many options out there that are cruelty-free.

Why did you get dreadlocks? Are they real?

Personally I have liked dreadlocks for a long time. Since I was a child I have been wanting to dread my hair. I did have dreadlocks once before, but I opened them after a week of keeping, because I did not know how to take care of them. These current ones happened kind of as an accident. I wanted to try them for a day and fell in love. I loved them so much I wanted to keep them for a week. I just did not want to let them go and made a decision to make them perfect. Half of the dread is my real hair, the other half is wool/felt. I feel like I am finally myself in these babies ❤ 

I wanted to also tell you that, I do know this hairstyle originally belongs to Rastafarians. I know some people are not comfortable with someone not from their culture having their original symbol. I have educated myself about a bit of the culture and I decided not to call my hairstyle "Rasta" which in finnish language would be common word for this hairstyle.

How did you make your dreadlocks?

It was kind of a long process as it usually is. I'll make it into its own post since there was so many steps. :) Stay tuned for that one :3

Thank you for reading. Hope this cleared some thoughts you might of had. Love yall and see ya again soon!

-Rebella Darkstar

Sep 10, 2017

Behind the scenes of My Entire Summer

My summer seemed awesome to you right?

It was the most awesome and exciting summer of my life. I value everyday the same as these experiences, that I wanted to share with you. Behind the scenes, there was still me. The girl who is still afraid of people, who is very unsure of herself. The girl who is still on her path to womanhood. By my age I would be concidered as a woman by now, but inside my mind I'm still vunerable as a child. The world is still new to me. 

Most of my summer apart from everything I already told you, was very lonely. This summer was very emotionally hard for me. At times. I was the loneliest I've ever been.  I did not have many friends this summer. I had all kinds of plans, how I am going to get new friends and be social butterfly. My plan did not go as planned. I got even more anxious as usual in a new and not so new social encounters. I tried my absolute best, but things don't always work out as planned. 

I cried a lot. This was not an easy period in my life at all. Ive been running to see doctors and bouncing back and forth between my  two homes. The one with my parents and the one with my fiance. I actually was a complete mess from time to time and even I was confused of what in the world is going on. I think my family has not much idea how miserable, behind the scenes, I actually am. This is also not the time to talk about it. I have never been brave enough to confront my parents and tell them things straight. This summer was even my first time trying. 

Even things being like this, I won't give up yet. No one said that this journey is going to be easy. Sometimes there is progress, sometimes a set back. Things change, wether I like it or not. I just need to learn to change my life in a way these changes demand. My life is not all bad. I have a loving man, I have a home. I have some people I can trust. The reason why I decided to tell you the darkness behind all of this sunshine, is because the internet is already full of glorious stories of peoples lives without telling the actual truth behind them. I think that you my dear readers deserve the whole truth. The good and bad. Because life is both,  ups and downs.

Days ar getting shorter. Autumn start to arrive. Its the time when people go back to schools and workplaces. To me personally, this is the time of healing, possibly getting new hobbies, or going back to the old ones. I don't know how all is gonna turn out yet. Now we just work towards the best possible out come, and see.

Thanks for sharing my summer with me, now lets head over to the next chapter. I'll try to keep you updated. Love yall!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Written on iPad 

Sep 9, 2017

My Entire Summer|| pt.5|| Tallinn Estonia

This is the last part of My Entire Summer!

My sister got 2 tickets for " Day in Tallinn"- cruise by Eckeröline. It had been about 4 years since the last time I was in any cruise, so ofc I agreed to go with her. My sister knows all my problems with people and she can protect me fom anything. This was also my first time abroad. I had never been outside Finland. I had heard all kinds of crazy things from this city. But it was nothing like I've been told.

The morning:
This morning was way easier that I thought. Wake up was at 5:45 am since I needed to be at the docks about 07:30 am.  I woke up allright and was right on time there to meet my sister Suvi and My brother Jani. We had planned that I borrow my car to my brother so he could give my sister a ride there and he would pick us up when we were back from Tallinn. He spent the day in Helsinki.

We went to check up, and got on the cruise ship. First checking the store ofc, then we went up on the deck and got some coffee. I was really really exited and a bit worried. I couldn't use internet abroad and My budget was 100 euros. I was not sure if it was enough or not.

Finally we were there! Straight away I knew I was far from home. It was so different but also very much like Finland. Well, that could be expected since its not that far away from us. For your information, I can't understan a word from their language. So every sign did not help me in anyway. There was biketaxis, which I've never seen before.

First we wanted to see the Viru keskus. Its a gigantic shopping centre right next us. I had a blast, giggling to every "summer sale" sign I saw. Because in their language summer is Suvi. Which is my sisters name. I couldn't stop giggling. I must of looked so clearly like a tourist. We spent a long time trying to find a store in the shopping centre, which clearly wasnt there. I went to a NYX store and bought myself a lipstick. Wow, like I couldn't do that back at home. What can I say, I'm a makeup addict. I had to see if they have more things inside there than we do here. Yes, they did. But nothing I could afford. So I bought a lipstick I had been drooling for a long time. My sister had to go to the cashier, because I was way too shy. There was a boy with so much better makeup than me. It was like makeup goals right there.

When we got out of the makeup section, we got lost for a little while. Like I said the mall is gigantic and we came out of a door that was nowhere near the door we went in. Luckily we found out where we where.

By now, we wanted some food. Trusty old Hesburger was the perfect place to go. We have the same restaurants all over finland. I know what I like and Its way cheaper than here. Except. I had to order in english. I HAD TO ORDER! I can't even do that in finnish. I don't know why I didnt try finnish, but when the cashier started to speak to us in english, i just kept with it. My sister couldnt order cause she does not know english very well. We got what we ordered, pretty fast, there was not much people and the quality didn't differ that much. Fries were better than here but burger had something off about it, in my opinion. It still was good and I was happy to stuff my belly.

My stomach is very sensitive. So when we where walking out of there I got one of these.. you know "uh oh, i gotta hurry"-moments. It was agony trying to find a nearest toilet. Then we saw one. At the bus station. I regret going there. It was horrible. Smelly, small, not that hygienic with blue lighting. Ofc, the lock was not working either. Thanks to my sister for looking at the door.

After this I'm not sure where we tried to go. Somehow we ended up kind of far away from where we just were. I was getting tired from the walking and It was ridiculously hot (to me atleast) I was not feeling too good, and got a bit cranky cause of this. Then my sister finally decided to look at the map and we were back on our right way. My sister and I found out that one of our cousings was in Tallinn aswell. She had been there 2 days before us and she was gonna continue to travel to latvia.

We agreed to meet eachother at Super-Alko. We were anyway headed there to buy some cheap drinks to take home. Also some cigarettes cause we both have the habit. I don't recommend. My sister bought 3 cases of drinks. Also both of us bought some liquer bottles. I bought a sour apple and Aviva blue sky just because the drink is so pretty. Blue drink with pearl inside.

My main goal why I went to Tallin was to see the old city. But now my sister said we have too much to carry with us, and we don't have the time. I just sat there and cried. Silently weeped. I told my sister thats why I wanted to go there and that I was really upset because we were supposed to go there first. It felt horrible to think that I wasn't able to see it. Then my sister said that we should make it if she can carry all the things. There was couple of hours left before our cruise home. We had time and strength to just sratch it, but I cheered up because its better than nothing. My sister promised me that sometime we will go there and really take some pretty pictures.

I took some pictures from the bit I saw, and I found it stunning. My father also said that their food is so good, you'll instantly love it. I wasn't able to eat there cause of the time but I will try it next time.

Now we were heading back, and we were exhausted. We got some coffee, smoked a lot and sat on the ground. When we got back to the ship, we took our stuff to a locker and headed up to make the rest of the shopping. I bought these adorable zodiac liquer bottles to me and my darling. As a decoration item ofc. Some candies and chocolate for the family and then we were done.

We were still feeling really hot, and the weather was beautiful so perfect way to spend the rest of the way home on the deck. Sat on the edge watching at the sea, having some snacks.. Then a seagull flies hereright on a pole that was right above my head. TGbe seagull was huge and I was sure I'm getting pooped on. They seagull left and we decided to walk some too and see the rear end of the ship. I have to say I had a few Marilyn Monroe moments cause it was so windy there. We could barely walk back where we came from, It was freezing and even our coffees flew out of our cups.

Back at sweet finland. We walked straight to my brother and headed hhome. We did't find our way out of Helsinki at first, had a tiny oopsie when we were driving on wrong lane, to a wrong direction. Thank god my brother fixed the situation fast and we had a huge laugh at some van that did the same thing after us. My brother took me home with m boyfriend and then took my sister home. I was happy to finally be home and heading to sleep.

My thoughts on Tallinn in a nutshell:

  • Beautiful summer city
  • Cheap
  • Great for shopping
  • Old city is really worth a proper look 
  • Everywhere smelled a bit funny
  • Still can't undestand the language
  • Cruise shit was allright
  • Will go again

Special thanks to my siblings!

This was My Entire summer. Lots of adventures and experiences, fun company and loads of fun. Now the summer is starting to end and autumn creeps closer. Time to get back to do some work with myself and get out the relaxing candles. Life doesnt stop here, neither does adventures. This was just one chapter inthe book of life and I'm ready to see the next one.

Thank you for reading, Love you!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Sep 8, 2017

My Entire Summer ||pt.4|| Helsinki

I'm here to tell you about my first trip to Helsinki, our capital.

This has to be the most stressful thing I've ever done. Yet, I regret nothing.
It was also the most fun thing I've ever done!

The preparations:
We had planned to stay in a hotel while we are in Helsinki, but soon we realized the prize is skyhigh. I was really upset because, that was one the biggest experiences I was waiting for, but oh well, some other time then.

Travel part was easy. We took a train there. Convienient, fast, smooth, and ecofriendly. I'm very happy that the train tickets were very cheap. I never had been in a train before, so I was so excited to be in one  I was being me and got stressed to even buy the tickets. The netsites work just as well as the train itself.

The date we decided based on the next part of this series. My trip to Tallinn with my sister. So the date to go to Helsinki was 2 days before that. Reason being that the cruiseship was due to go from Helsinki.

The morning:
This was one hard morning for me. I couldn't sleep very well because of the excitement and nervousness. The wake up was too early (for me) at 8am. Being also me, I overslept.

When I finally woke up, my mourning routine took so much time, we almost missed the train. Luckily, we made it. Then there was some old couple sitting on our seats. I couldn't ask them to move so we decided to go somewhere else. I got a bit seasick and was so tired, I needed ten tons of caffeine. Otherwise, I loved the ride. Trains are gonna be my favourite.

Now, we were there. The big city. And boy, oh boy. This was some crazyride. I felt like I was far from home. Tampere is not a small city either, but this was another level. Damn, This looked like a mini version of NYC. Bright lights, shopping centres, fashionistas everywhere. I'm so gonna go back there for shopping. Now we decided to go somewhere close but more peaceful. Kaisanniemen puisto. Perfect, a park nearby. It was beautiful and the first place ever where I've seen geese. They looked like a little gang :D Weather was really against us at this time. We ate some soft ice in a pouring rain. It still tastes good, haha.

First day|Night

This was the day I was waiting for. Meeting my fiances sister, Suenne, for the first time. She is one of the sweetest and nicest person I've ever known. Remember when I told that we couln't sleep in a hotel? Instead we had a comfortable setting with his sister and his sisters partner. They have the most adorable cat ever. Cutie furrball boy called Tatu.

Before we headed to her apartment, we went to chat to a smokey, adorable little pub/coffe house called Old Hat. I was too shy to talk much. We have to visit them more often now, so I'd stop being so shy. The place was so cozy and I felt very welcome there. Suenne is an artist, to be more exact she is an author.

Before sleeping we went to beautiful park just next door the apartment. Strömbergin puisto = Strömbergs park. Gorgeus views, amazing little waterfall. One of the most peaceful places Ive ever seen! Then we went to sleep, I was out like a candle.

Second day:

This morning was a lot easier to wake up than the first one, yet I still refused to get up in time. Did my makeup and was getting ready to an epic day in an epic city with the most epic company. I was gonna meet my "brother" Elmo (The green manatee). We haven't been seing much because he lives so far away. We both have gone trough some hard times in our life and we are at somewhat in the same point right now. Both would love to go to school, but we both have reasons why we can't follow our desire.

So this time we took a bus to the central, and I went sitting close to the Kaisaniemen puisto, while Samuli was going to buy us something to drink. IT WAS A MISTAKE! I should never sit alone anywhere. I was alone, minding my own business, about 5 minutes. Then this gentleman from Africa  walks to me and starts a conversation with broken english. He was asking me all kinds of things. Like, why I am alone, Where am I going, Who I'm with. I tried my best to stay calm and nice, even tho - I was really nervous. I'm always scared what comes to new social encounters. He asked if he could sit next to me while I wait my fiance to get back. I couln't dare to say no. Luckily this man was very nice to me, and seemed like he didn't want any harm.

Then another gentleman walks to us, asking for weed. He was drunk. I'm not really good with drunk people. We told him that we don't have any weed with us, so he can't buy it from us. He kept insisting that we do have some and jut refuse to sell it to him. When we finally made him understan we don't have any, he went to chat with his other friends. Well, now I was scared to death but its not ending yet. There walks another man, this time a finnish fellow. Even more drunk than this other man right before him. Now he tries to buy some weed from us, and again we try to tell him we don't have any. He didn't believe us and he was very aggressive. I was really close to a panic attack at this point, but luckily the first gentleman, who was sitting next to me, decided to take this man away from me.

The couple minutes I was sitting alone again went by. The gentleman comes back to sit next to me and tries to keep the conversation going. He keeps asking everything about me. I answered very carefully and then he asks for my number. I told him I'm not comfortable giving that to him, and he understood that. So I gave him my facebook link instead. Then he says his goodbyes and goes. I was furiously texting both Elmo and Samuli, near panic, I was trying to think where to go, so no one would come up to me anymore.

Now, Elmo comes up and I was so relieved. All the tension and panic faded away. Samuli also comes back at this point and I'm totally relax. Now the happiest day of my life can begin!

We headed to get some coffee from starbucks, because the only place where Starbucks exists here in Finland, is Helsinki. AND DAMN MAN. That was the greatest Iced coffee I've ever had. Next, we went to a another beautiful park. Vanha kirkkopuisto. We talked and had fun. Nothing extra special. We wondered around, looking everywhere, it was a gorgeus city. Thanks to Elmo for knowing where we were supposed to go, so we didn't get lost in there. I wasn't shopping even tho I wanted to. I thought its best to save all the money I can to the trip to Tallinn.

Then night starts to fall and we realize that we have to get up, extremely early the next morning. So, we made sure Elmo got to his bus safely and we took a bullet train back to the apartment. I was scared to even do that, cause I had no idea what to do, how to pay, where to sit. It went allright, eventually and now was the time to head to sleep. I originally thought I should stay up the entire night, cause I was sure I will not wake up on time. I fell asleep very fast and looking back. I would of been a stupid idea to stay up.

My thoughts on Helsinki in a nutshell:

  • Very beautiful architecture
  • Excellent summer city.
  • Great for shopping and tourism.
  • Parks are amazing.
  • A bit expensive but worth it.
  • So many people.
  • Excellent ways to get around town.
  • I love the subway! 
  • I wouldn't live there but I will definetly visit again.

Special thanks to:
My bae Samuli
Suenne & her family
I love you <3

Next part of this series will be about my trip to Tallinn, Estonia. I'll try to make it a bit shoter than this. Visit Helsinki and have a great day. Thank you for sharing this experience with me.

Love yall!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Sep 7, 2017

My Entire Summer|| pt.3|| Miljoona rock

This third part is about the one day festival I told you about couple posts back.
Heres how it went!

Our first problem was the ride there. I was not really wanting to drive there myself, but in the end I think it was the best way to go. Because I was still scared to drive there, we left the night before. This way I could fully concentrate on the road and getting us where we needed to be without needing to worry too much about the others and traffic. It was actually pretty easy drive. I would totally go again.

So because we left the night before, literally. We thought we would sleep some inside my car on the parking lot. We tried for couple of hours but both of us were too exited to get any sleep. When the shop opened, we grabbed couple cups of coffee and started shopping.

I actually bought myself some makeup, and even some pieces of clothing. My sister found some clothes for her aswell.

The food there is incredible. One of the best fast food burger I've ever had. It was affordable and tasted awesome. I also love the architecture and other decorations. It's also a hotel so no wonder why.
We played pokemon, run from place to place, cheked things out, had silly conversations all that jazz.

The gig:
Weather was sort of rainy, not too warm. This time we were able to leave the area. That was great got I got really tired trough out the day. We had fun listening Petri Nygård. His lyrics are dirty, but you have to take them with humour. We even met our boss there. She was not looking happy and we didn't see her after that. We danced and sang along.

After this was the turn of Klamydia. They had pretty freaking cool stage performance. I love that band anyway so. They have their own kind of punk and they even got me emotional. I cried during their song "Rakas Hullu". Its a touching song for their friend who passed away. I'm not sure what made me cry during that song, was I just tired or did I feel the song differently live, or a combination of both. That may be a mystery forever.

Now was time to listen to Kolmas Nainen. Actually we were not there to listen to any of it. They have couple of okay songs but I'm not really into that band. So we decided to get some rest and chill time.

We came back to the area when Eppu Normaali was about in the middle of their playlist. They also have somewhat humourous music about us finns. We sang along and danced a bit. Waiting and waiting for HIM.

When HIMs turn started to get closer the place was really crowded. Me and my sister were in a 3 row, since people kept pushing us. There was a very drunken couple right behind us. They both wer tall and on the larger size. They kept pushing us with quite a lot of force the entire opening of HIM.

HIM played beautifully! I freaked out completely, I bursted in tears, I nearly passed out many times. I was hysterical. Suvi had to leave the front because the loudness of the speakers were too high. I stayed as long as I could. At this point I was ridiculously tired, and my feet were more sore than ever before. After a while I decided to go away from the front rows and join my sister to the side. I still kep hysterically crying. And people told me to get some treatment. I guess they haven't ever loved any band as much as I do. I didn't really care. I loved it.

After the gig was over and I had calmed myself down. We went to my car, packed our things and I made a dumb decision. I had been up over 40 hours and I still decided to drive us home. It was night time and we waited for the most people to go first so there would not be much traffic anymore. We ate some and had lot of caffeine. We made a deal that if I start to feel too tired to drive, we will stop and sleep in the car. Everything went well, I didn't feel too tired. We got home safe and both of us were a bit sore after all this. Yet, I loved everything.

My thoughts in nutshell:
I'm glad I did it and drove myself.
Food was good.
I had a ton of fun.
Artist were good.
Pricing in the actual viewing area was a bit too much for the quality.
I liked the fact that this time we were able to leave the area.
Shopping there is always great.

This was one of the highlights of my summer! Thank you for sharing this with me. Love you all!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Sep 6, 2017

My Entire Summer|| pt.2 || Amusement park

Hey you!

Särkäniemi has been mention here in my blog before. Thats because this is the only amusement park I've ever been in to. Also I live like really close to it so no traveling needed. The only problem why I don't go there that often is the price of the tickets. Theyre one of the most expensive in Finland alltogether. Every year the prices get higher, but I want to go there atleast once a summer cause the place is amazing.

The first opportunity came in very early summer or very late spring time when Särkäniemi did their annual VTS-day. Everyone who rents an apartment are able to go to Särkäniemi 3 hours before it opens, a lot cheaper. Tickets include all the family members and there are a bit more costing tickets for friends. Its still very much cheaper to be there for the 3 hours. You can also buy a ticket to the rest of the day for somewhat cheaper. So its a pretty good deal.

There was me, My fiance Samuli, My sister Suvi and her boyfriend.
I love us 4 as group.  Our men just roll their eyes at me and Suvi for being sometimes total idiots. We have always so much fun. The weather was kind of cold but that I knew before hand. This time we went all of our favourite rides, but the newest rollercoaster called Hype, was not yet opened.

We checked out the aquarium and I just adore that place. There all allkinds of fun sea creatures and pretty awesome effects.  There used to be a building called Delfinarium. It was a show about and with actual Dolphins. Allkinds of tricks and some information. I got a pet one of the dophins when I was a kid. The show was open for many many years. But this year There wasn't. Activists started to think that its not right for the Dolphins to live that way. So the dolphins were sent to somewhere else. Unfortunately I have heard that atleast one of the four dolphins has passed away, because of the moving.
We didn't check the planetarium yet this time.

I burned myself but everybody had a plast. Everyone got dizzy at somepoint, rides are still awesome, good food and lots of giggling.

The second opportunity for  us to was when my sister thought that the new rollercoasted had to be tested. Hype is a freakishly fast and huge rollercoaster. I'll put a video of it right below.
I love it. The first 2 seats give you real fear of death. This is seriously number one with Särkäniemis most famous ride the Tornado.

This time we were there two days in a row, because we got the second day free with some app sale thing they have with VR. We went trough the same awesome rides, got some good food, pretty allrigh weather. This time we checked out the planetarium. It was really different that I remembered. Still facinating story about the solarsystem and planets. Also there is a ton of Pokestops everywhere. We all play Pokemon Go, so this was perfect.

They also have the old pettingzoo. Nowadays they have changed it to a place called Koiramäki. Based on children storybooks written by Mauri Kunnas. Very loveable characters and lots of cute animals. Every summer there are different kind of animal babies. Pony rides, cute shops and restaurants, shows for kids. Beautiful place and they even have activieties in the winter time when there are not animals around.

If you have the time and money to go I highly suggest seeing this place. Fun for the whole family.
I really love it as an excperience and might be going again to their Halloween festival. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for reading and have a nice day! Love ya!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Sep 5, 2017

My Entire Summer|| pt.1|| First tattoo from a shop!

Hello there and welcome to the first part of my new post mini-series: My Entire Summer.
The name of this is a pretty self explanatory.
This is a 5 part serie with all the most exciting things that happened this summer. Share my experience on the most exciting summer of my life. Atleast yet!

This first part is about my first tattoo shop experience. It all started when I got a gift card to a tattooshop from My boyfriend as a 20th birthday gift.  I was not sure if I wanted to cover up one of my 2 older messed up tattoos, or get a new one. I saved up my birthday money so I could afford the rest of the tattoo. Then it hit me. I will get the tattoo I dreamed of since I was a child. Picture of a chao. And this time I wanted this tattoo to be my first colored one.

What is a Chao?
Chao is a cute, little, blue, babylike character in some games of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Chaos are babylike, petlike creatures living in place called Chao garden. Chaos have different personalities and all kinds of different cute and interesting things. You can make them look like cute little animals! You can give them drives to level them up for karate and racing ( more like adventure triathlon/running competition). Its loads of fun!
I suggest you to watch this video for a basic explanation of Chaos in Sonic Adventure battle 2:

Why I wanted to have a tattoo of Chao?
First of all Sonic Adventure Battle 2 was my absolute favourite game in my entire childhood. There was my favourite characters since I was (and am) a Sonic fan. There was adventure, a good story, and (my favourite part) the chao garden. I used so much time taking care of the Chaos, I loved them like my own babies.

The second reason why I chose exactly this chao as my tattoo, is the look of it. This is the coloring of a newborn chao. Newborn Chaos have no personality yet so they can still change into anything. It reminds me that I'm always able to change the way of my life. I can still be everything I want. I still have time to explore and find myself.

The last reason is the cuteness. That is adorable. This looks awesome on my skin, It fits my style. I love it!

The tattoo shop:
I went to a pretty well known tattoo & piercing shop called Putka, here in Tampere.
I wanted to go here because this was the same shop I took my tongue piercing when I was 15. Aldo the giftcard my boyfriend gave me was specifically there.

I was really nervous about wether or not its gonna hurt. I've heard tales about that coloring hurts like a bi*ch. I took a painkiller before I went in. I got an semi new tattoo artist who had worked about 3 years. It was okay with me since this was not a complicated picture. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to tell his name here or not. All glory to him from doing this.

It actually did hurt quite a bit. I was silently moaning the pain and occasionally it got so bad I had to bite my lip, not to scream. He tried to be as gentle as he could. I tried to have an akward small talk with him, but that didn't really seem to care. It was bleeding a bit but I loved it the second I saw it. Childhood dream came true! I was and still am proud of this. Healing went allright, about in a moth this was completely healed. It still itches time to time but I'm fine with that.

Okay so this was my experience getting my firts colored tattoo. Thank you for reading and sharing this with me. Next part of this series will be about my 2 trips to Särkäniemi amusement park.

Have a great day, Love you!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Mar 24, 2017

I am jealous, just like you.

Hey all. Todays topic is something I've had some problems with lately, and that is: Jealousy.

First I'd like to say that I understand why people are jealous. It comes from the times, we were still surviving with our basic instincts. Jealousy is something that has driven us humans forward quite a lot. It comes from our desire to be better. As you probably know, jealousy can be quite a curse too and unfortunately jealousy is a thing that prevents many of us living our lives to the fullest.

There is a lot of things to be jealous about, but it all comes to one same thing: Wanting something that you do not have. It might be something that you might own someday. (for an example: you feel jealous of someones awesome shirt, and you go and buy yourself the same shirt.) Or it could be that you are jealous of attention. You might be jealous of the way someone treats someone else but not you. This is something normal, and everyone of us is jealous about something in our lifetimes. What matters is that, how do you act because of this feeling? What do you do, to get rid of the feeling of being jealous?

When the jealousy is too much? When does it become a problem?
For me personally it has been a problem in different situations. It has been a problem to me, when my ex-partners have been so jealous of me they have stopped me from doing things that make me happy, like seeing my friends. I have lost friends because of jealousy. I lost some of my friends when my ex was so jealous, he did not let me spend ANY time with them. My friends felt abandoned and left. Also some of my friend is my youth were jealous of me having a boyfriend and decided to leave because of that. Jealousy has even been destroying my relationship with my family. In both sides people being jealous of me, or about me, have made things very complicated.

I am not clean myself either. I have ruined things in my own life because I have been jealous too. Actually I still am about certain things. I have been jealous of a lot of things during my life time. When I was a child, I was jealous of how other girls were thin, had pretty clothes, had hobbies, had a lot of friends, had "nicer" toys. I was jealous how other kids had money on field trips, how others went abroad, or their family went to an amusement park. I have never traveled much, and when I think about it I have not been experiencing much at all (well that depends on who I'm comparing myself to.)
I still am jealous about things, only the topics have changed over the years. Yesterday I found myself being so jealous about something, that it made me cry for for a long time. After that I realized something.

Being jealous is normal to us human beings.
The difference is that in our modern society jealousy is not as needed as it used to be. 
I realized that jealousy can be a force driving us to better ourselves if things do not go overboard. You should not be jealous of someones body or life. If you are, I think you should find the rason for it and try to make your own life better for yourself. Don't let jealousy ruin your relationships, dont let jealousy stop you doing things that you enjoy. Find the reasons why you are jealous of something, accept it, let the jealousy go and work towards a better tomorrow, but don't forget to have fun and still keep living in the present. Life happens now.

This is all for now. Thank you for reading and I love you all!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar~

Feb 8, 2017

Excitement in my life!

Hello there!
You're here to see what makes me so excited right?
I bough tickets to Miljoonarock again!! I'm mostly going there to see H.I.M. again because if you have been here a while you know I'm like the most obsessed H.I.M. fan on this earth :D
This is going to be my second time seeing them live. The first time was in Miljoonarock also in 2014. I will be going atleast with my sistewr but I'm not sure how many others will come with us.
Ticket was 50€

What is Miljoonarock you might be asking yourself?
Miljoonarock (translates to =millionrock) is a one day music festival organized by Vesa Keskinen who is the owner of Finlands biggest (originally) village shop. Now the whole store is HUGE and its called Tuuri (=translates to luck) People go there from all over Finland and possibly all over the world.
This year the whole thing is going to be super special cause it is going to be the owners 50th birthday at the exact date. They have said on their website that it is going to be special but they wont tell any details. So I'm super exited.

Who are preforming?
Well There is going to be 5 finnish artists/ bands.
Biggest of them obviously is H.I.M. and the main reason why I had to get the tickets. I wont be telling much about H.I.M. to yall 'cause you will be hearing tons more things on my blog about them, but I'll give a bit info on the other bands :D

There is also going to be Kolmas nainen (=translates to "the third woman")
Kolmas nainen is a finnish rock band  found in 1982 from Alavus - "Alavus' Dr. Feelgood". The band bounced to fame in the 1984 by the Finnish Rock Championships where they came in second place with equal points with the winner Peer Günt. Kolmas nainen is known mostly by their singer and song author Pauli Hanhiniemi (vocals, keyboards, harmonica, accordion) . Other members were Pasi Kallioniemi (drums), Raimo Valkama (bass), Sakari Pesola (guitar) and Timo Löyvä (guitar during 1982-1989) and Timo Kivikangas (guitar during the period 1989-1994).

Klamydia (=translates to Chlamydia)
Klamydia is a finnish punk band found in 1988 from Vaasa. The band's history is long and intricate. The band has gone through several changes of crew and album releases have been frequent from the beginning, the band has released a total of more than 450 pieces. The band's reputation comes mostly from their humor, but some of the band's songs are socially conscious works and serious-minded songs. Critics have never appreciated klamydia, but the albums are still selling well. 

Eppu Normaali (Eppu The Normal)
Eppu Normaali is a Finnish Pop-Rock band from Ylöjärvi. (Which is the city I currently live in ;3) It ushered as a new wave punk band in 1976, but their music became more melodic punk. In the 1980s the band's style approached closer to pop music. Their first public appearance took place in Rock's Finnish Cup qualifier in Tampere Gorilla in 1977. Sarcastic and humorous songs were seen as an attack on the progressive rock music. Eppu Normaali was not successful in the Finnish Cup, but in the jury sat Juice Leskinen called Eppu Normaali to get honorable mentions.

Petri Nygård
Petri Nygård (real name Petri Jukka Mikael Laurila born 8 February 1975 in Kristianstad, Sweden) is a Finnish rapper. Laurila's career began as an artist called "Dream" 1989-2003 in Nuera-band along with Henry Kapral (aka Skem).The first piece of "Petri Nygård" was a rapsong criticising finnish rockmusic "Vitun Suomirokkia" (=Fucking Finnish rock). It was originally released on the Internet in 2000. He made two more albums "Petri presidentixi" and "Hovinarrin paluu" with the Nygård name before he started making music in English as an artist Travis Bicle.
Travis Bicle performed in the music video of What's Poppin and released on 18 April 2007, the album Committed.

Feelings about last time!
I believe the last time in 2014 was one of the greatest experiences in my life! I was in the first row trough the WHOLE concert. I had to see H.I.M. as close as possible. I was screaming so loud I nearly puked all over the place, I was hysterical and crying tons. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Preforming there the last time were Eppu Normaali, Popeda, The69eyes, and H.I.M. I'll put the link to my blog post I did about it then: Here
I didn't give much knowledge back then, but I really enjoyed it. Heres a couple more photos I have from 2014 (sorry for the quality)

I think this is all from this now, do you want me to do a vlog/blogpost about it? Let me know!
Blog ya guys later!
-Rebella Nanan Darkstar

Jan 24, 2017

What I learned in the makeup lesson!


I thought I'd share some makeup tips I learned (or mostly verified) by a professional in a Beauty Academy makeup lesson. Here is some information that will be useful for someone who is just starting or there might be some details you didn't already know. It was a small course of  basic makeup skills. Nothing was really new to me but it was nice to get a diploma and verify my knowledge as real. Also it was really fun to try something new!

👇So here are some tips!
  • Good makeup brushes are important! A good brush can make even a not-so-perfect product look much better! A bad brush can make your super amazing product look like a real mess. 
  • Always clean your face before applying makeup. The oils on your skin might make the makeup runny or cakey.
  • Using a good makeup base cream can be really helpful on getting the full effect from your foundation. 
  • Remember, always keep the mirror parallel to your face to get the best result.

This demo-make up is by: Ritva Aalto
Clean face of our lovely model Heli
Makeup done by Ritva Aalto

☺Base makeup:

  • Concealer should be applied after foundation, because the foundation might cover up more than you actually think.
  • Every cream should be applied from the back of your hand. This makes the cream warm up a bit and become smoother and easier to apply.
  • The right spot to test a proper foundation is not on your arm. It actually is the best to test on your jawline. 
  • You should have 2 different shades of foundation in a year. Darker one for the summer and lighter one for the winter. In spring or fall, you will find the perfect shade by mixing these two.
  • If youre wearing a low neck shirt you should apply the foundation as far as it goes, and dont forget to blend as you go down. Also if youre having yoir hair up or you have short hair, you should apply the foundation on your ears aswell.
  • Powder should be applied with a "sponge" or with a brush. Sponge gives you more coverage, brush makes the power look more natural. If you apply powder with a brush, swirling movement is the best.
  • Use a translucent powder if you only need to set your makeup, use a greenish tint powder if you want to take away redness.
  • Contouring and higlighting should always be applied for your face, not straight from a chart. Learn what shape your face is and then use contouring and higlighting to bring out your best features. Example. If you already have a skinny nose, nose contouring can make yoir nose look non-existant and look funny.
  • Heart/Diamond shaped face are the easiest to contour.

Base makeup by Ritva

Base makeup by me.
  • The shape of your brows should be like a birds wing. Thick first and narrowing towards the end. 
  • Natural brows should be colored, not drawn.
  • The highest point of your brow should be easy to check. Take a pen or something similar and place it in an angle,  from the tip of your nose, over your iris. to the brow bone. (This sounds harder than it is, and it is really hard to explain.)
  • For the most natural brows, choose a shade lighter or  a shade darker from your hair color.
Brows by me

  • Apply eyeshadow upwards from the outer corners of your eyes so they wont become sad and droopy looking.
  • Light base color (from the same color group you choose for your eyeshadow) is very helpful what comes to blending.
  • Eyeshadow can be applied quite generously, dont be shy with it.
  • Learn what shape of eyes you have and use an eyeliner shape best suited for your eyes, but be sure to play with it sometimes, you might be surprised.
  • Apply the first coat of mascara using a zig-zag motion to bring volume, and the second coat in an upwards motion to bring length and curve.
  •  If you are wondering if your mascara is dry or not the best trick is to listen if you can hear a "smooch" sound when you pull the wand out of the tube. If you hear it then your mascara is fresh, if not your mascara should be thrown out.
  • If you have a pinkeye, and use yoir mascara you should seriously get a new tube, otherwise the pinkeye will stay.
  • Never lend your mascara to anyone!

  • You should use a lipliner under your lipstick to make your lipcolor last longer, be more opaque and this prevents the lipstick from running on the tiny "wrinkles" around your lip.
  • You can just line your lips with a lipliner or fill them in. Lining prevents the running, and filling makes the color last longer.
  • Lipliner does not need to be 100% color matched. Using different shades can make your lipstick be much more dimentional.
  • Remember to blot your lipstick. Blotting means that after applying, you gently press your lips on a papertowel. After this feel free to apply a second coat of lipstick if needed. 


Here are the best tips I can give in general. Always remember to have fun with your makeup and be creative! There is no actual rules in makeup but these are more like guidelines. If you have anything to ask, leave it in the comments and I will answer as well as I can 💕

I love yall! and I'll blog you later 💜💋💀

 -Rebella Nana Darkstar~

Jan 12, 2017

New year, same me // First of 2017

Hello everyone.
Sorry it has again been so long since the last time.  The reason being, I've been tired, sad, and trying to get my life back in order.
ALSO I haven't been writing because my computer is a bit busted and my keyboard is not working properly and I do not have an extra one. I have an Acer laptop and I already have to use an external screen because the backlight got busted. I'm seriously starting to consider a new computer and this time I wish it will be a proper one. Like an actual tabletop computer so I could edit videos better.

My life has changed. ONCE AGAIN! I got kicked out of school. Yeah, I know its my own fault for not being present but here is how it happened. In our schools we have this appointment thing, what I call as a "second chance- talk". Where you go to talk to a student counselor and try for one last time to actually show them that you are worth being there and your studies will go well. We had the appointment, or at least they sent me the appointment info by mail. EVEN THO I told them not to send it by mail, cause I won't be able to get it. My mail went straight to my ex. So, I never got the appointment info, so I didn't go. If you don't go in the appointment, school decides that you are no longer interested and they fire you. That's what happened me.

 I'm not completely wrecked, I will start working next week. It's kinda hard to explain what the place actually is, but basically you go there 3-4 times a week to do all kinds of this. Learning how to get your life back in order, how to clean, how to make food, how you go to a store and they help you get to in school, or work places and you also do a little working there aswell. You get paid a tiny bit. There are some strict rules, to make us get used to the rules we will have in our future workplaces. Like we get 3 brakes during the day. One in the morning, one lunch, one in the afternoon. That I believe is written in laws. I'm not quite sure. I'm not the most educated person. The reason I know about this place is that I have been there once before. I'm really happy to be able to go there again.

Fighting with this depression is still extremely rough, I have stopped  all of my medications because, they only seem to make things worse. I just moved back to Ylöjärvi so I don't go to any theraphy yet either. I hope the workplace will help me to get there. I'm going to the doctors this month to talk about a lot of stuff. For en example. (embarrasingly enough) about my constantly missing period.

I have some good news too. I quit smoking! I've been vaping instead. Today it has been 7 days since the last smoke. I did try to smoke yesterday, because i thought I missed it. That was a big mistake. It tasted awful and it was not as pleasing to me as it used to be. Only in one week I have noticed  some quite dramatic changes. My voice is clearer, I don't cough every morning, headaches are going away,  and the most obvious, my breath and hands don't smell so awful anymore. I'm still waiting for some changes to come. Able to smell things better, able to taste things better, not being so short breathed etc. It has been semi-though but I know it for better good. Like for myself but also for getting children.

Christmas went as same as it always does. Great. I loved to spent time with my family. I got nice gifts, but I honestly think the gifts are not the most important thing really.

Look at my gorgeus, adorable, boyfriend LitePaw <3
New years went the same as usual except that we had my godmother/aunt and her family there. I love my godmother! She is the one who teaches me all the things about magic and herbs, she teaches me about stones and energies and I just love that. Not many are as well educated about the things (in my family) as she is. We had our fortunes told like everyone years, but also this year we did a "New years magic"  which basically is two pieces of papers. on the other one you write what you want to leave in the past years, and on the other one you write what you would like to have on the next year. I will make it a tradition from now on. We had some good food and just talked with eachother. There is never drinking in the holidays in my family.  on new years eve my parents take only one glass of champagne, that's it.

Also I want to show you my version of #Endthestigma amongst mental illnesses. Here it is:
These are some of my diagnosis. These must be the ones that affect my life the most.
I think this all I have to say for now. I love you all. Thank you for reading. Blog you later.

-Rebella Nana Darkstar