Sep 10, 2017

Behind the scenes of My Entire Summer

My summer seemed awesome to you right?

It was the most awesome and exciting summer of my life. I value everyday the same as these experiences, that I wanted to share with you. Behind the scenes, there was still me. The girl who is still afraid of people, who is very unsure of herself. The girl who is still on her path to womanhood. By my age I would be concidered as a woman by now, but inside my mind I'm still vunerable as a child. The world is still new to me. 

Most of my summer apart from everything I already told you, was very lonely. This summer was very emotionally hard for me. At times. I was the loneliest I've ever been.  I did not have many friends this summer. I had all kinds of plans, how I am going to get new friends and be social butterfly. My plan did not go as planned. I got even more anxious as usual in a new and not so new social encounters. I tried my absolute best, but things don't always work out as planned. 

I cried a lot. This was not an easy period in my life at all. Ive been running to see doctors and bouncing back and forth between my  two homes. The one with my parents and the one with my fiance. I actually was a complete mess from time to time and even I was confused of what in the world is going on. I think my family has not much idea how miserable, behind the scenes, I actually am. This is also not the time to talk about it. I have never been brave enough to confront my parents and tell them things straight. This summer was even my first time trying. 

Even things being like this, I won't give up yet. No one said that this journey is going to be easy. Sometimes there is progress, sometimes a set back. Things change, wether I like it or not. I just need to learn to change my life in a way these changes demand. My life is not all bad. I have a loving man, I have a home. I have some people I can trust. The reason why I decided to tell you the darkness behind all of this sunshine, is because the internet is already full of glorious stories of peoples lives without telling the actual truth behind them. I think that you my dear readers deserve the whole truth. The good and bad. Because life is both,  ups and downs.

Days ar getting shorter. Autumn start to arrive. Its the time when people go back to schools and workplaces. To me personally, this is the time of healing, possibly getting new hobbies, or going back to the old ones. I don't know how all is gonna turn out yet. Now we just work towards the best possible out come, and see.

Thanks for sharing my summer with me, now lets head over to the next chapter. I'll try to keep you updated. Love yall!

-Rebella Nana Darkstar

Written on iPad 

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